Wasted
First of all, none of it was my fault. Secondly, it was a Sunday. That’s important because I don't remember the last time I had to battle on a Sunday. I don't know about you but I think that Sundays are made for wasting. Especially here in Ecruteak where nothing ever happens. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn’t do what I do if I didn't have any connection to the place. They call it a city but it’s much more of a town, it too small to be a city.
And sure there’s always something on at the theatre but that means that you’ve got to close up and get dressed and make sure that someone knows where you're going and it’s just too hard a lot of the time. That’s why I like Sundays so much. Visitors are scarce and trainers even fewer. What else is a Gym Leader to do with his time on a Sunday?
Don't believe anything Eusine tells you. He’s a liar. Trust me, I had Haunter listen in to his conversation with Falkner last week and none of what he said was true. Okay, part of it was. One fact. Eusine got one fact right. I was just a little bit wasted.
It was a glorious Sunday last weekend, when this happened. And that’s saying something because I don't use the word ‘glorious’ very often but in this case it just so happens to be the only word I can think of. It gets pretty cold in Ecruteak during the winter so after months of rain and freezing air, an afternoon of sunshine is just the breath of fresh air you need.
The Ghosts were out like they always are on weekends but while they usually caused mayhem that would keep the best on their toes, it didn't bother me so much this time. I was going to relax in the sun and everything else could wait until Monday.
So I closed up the Gym and headed out onto Route 38 with Gengar strolling along beside me; we left the others back home, with the Gym closed they could spend the entire afternoon playing in the fight area without anyone to tell them off for it.
I was expecting there to be a lot more people out enjoying the sunshine. Not that it mattered to me, I was kind of hoping for the place to be deserted anyway. I sat down in the grass to watch Gengar playing with a pair of Magnemite and lit up a joint; I couldn’t think of anything better at that point. Sunshine, closed Gym and happy Ghosts all added up to a very happy Morty.
Nothing could ruin such a perfect day. And I know how fucking lame that all sounds, ‘it was a beautiful day and I was happy and everything was good’, but sometimes that shit really does happen. I wasn't going to waste the opportunity because I’d spoken to Whitney the day before and she’d mentioned that a bunch of new trainers had just passed through Goldenrod, so I was expecting them in the next few days. Gengar was trying to get my attention by pulling on my scarf in that way he has, like everything is urgent so I'm never sure if the Gym is burning down or if Haunter is just getting over-excited and scaring small children.
“Hey, what is it?” I asked him. I remember thinking that his head felt fuzzy when I patted it reassuringly. Which is strange, when you think about it, with him being a ghost and all. Ghosts shouldn’t be fuzzy. They really shouldn’t because they're not exactly solid creatures. You’d think they were some days, the way they tear through the Gym and turn everything upside down so I can't find the sandwich I just put down. I once made a sandwich and turned around, then when I looked back it was gone. Haunter thought that it was funny to hide it under my pillow and I had to explain to all the Ghosts that sandwiches do not belong in bed. The crumbs are a fucking pain to get off the sheets.
So anyway, I was lying there out on Route 38 enjoying the sunshine and then suddenly, Gengar’s come running back out of nowhere followed by Eusine.
“Saw the Gym closed, thought I’d come out here looking for you.” He said.
“Yeah,” I laughed. “I thought about going down to Goldenrod but I didn't feel like being in the city today. It’s too... big.”
“You’re fucked, aren’t you?”
“No.”
“Fuck, you are.”
“I'm not, relax.” I laughed again and stood up, patting Gengar’s head again. It was still fuzzy.
“Look me in the eye and say that.”
“You know I can't do that, Eusine.”
“Do it.”
“No!”
“Morty!”
“What?” I was laughing at him by then. I couldn’t take him seriously at the best of times.
“Look me in the eye and tell me you're not fucked up.”
“I'm not fucked up.”
“Look at me.”
“No.”
“Morty.”
“Eusine.”
“Jesus, I need you to be coherent right now.”
“I'm always coherent, what’s going on?”
“You're not, you're fucked.”
“Only a tiny bit. What’s up?”
“Some kid got lost up in the Burned Tower. I was going to go look for him.”
“I’m okay to do that.”
“Are you?”
“Yeah.”
“Really.”
“Yeah.” I don't know why he was so unimpressed. I was definitely coherent and I could walk in a straight line and all of that shit, he just didn't want to believe me. It was probably because of that one time I got a bit more wasted than I planned on. Even that wasn't my fault. He was supposed to be out of town and it was late so the Gym wasn't opening until the next morning or anything. But there was Eusine, standing at the back door with that look on his face that only parents should be allowed to use. You know the one, that ‘I am so devastatingly disappointed in you right now’ look. I let him in and I made him a cup of tea but he says that I made it with a handful of mixed herbs instead of tea leaves. I think he was wrong, I remember that being the most delicious cup of tea I’d ever had.
So Eusine dragged me back into Ecruteak and across town to the tower. We stopped by the Mart to pick up a couple of drinks and some supplies that Eusine thought we might need. He stocked up on bandages and pokemon treatments and generic painkillers while I strolled up and down the aisles looking for things that caught my eye.
“Are you serious?”
“What?”
“You want a bottle of Gatorade and some peanut butter?”
“I haven’t got any left at home.”
“So come back later.”
“I'm here now though.”
“I'm not buying you the peanut butter. We’re going to a find a kid that got stuck in the tower.”
“...Will you buy me the Gatorade?”
“What?”
“So if you won't buy me the peanut butter will you at least buy me the Gatorade?”
“Fine.” Eusine snatched the bottle up and handed it to the shopkeeper then threw it at me. Idiot. As if it was going to catch it. He was sorting out his change while I tried to collect the bottle from under the first aisle of shelving.
“Help me, would you?”
“What?”
“The Gatorade, it’s stuck.”
“So reach under and get it.”
“It’s stuck, Eusine.” I said. “It’s going to be stuck there forever. It’s going to be alone. Man, can you imagine the kind of life it’s going to have now? Poor fucking Gatorade. It’s going to be like living in a cave. It’ll never get married and have little bottles of Gatorade. Fuck, Eusine, you wouldn’t want to put it through that kind of misery would you?”
“Can he just get another bottle?” Eusine asked the shopkeeper, who nodded. Obviously he just didn't want a twenty-something sitting on his floor crying about Gatorade anymore. “Come on.” In one of those more cherished moments of our friendship, Eusine dragged me out of the store by the collar.
“Ouch, fuck, try to choke me next time.” I accepted the fresh bottle of Gatorade from him.
“Next time remember that you've got responsibilities in this town.”
“I know that, I'm not stupid. I'm a fucking Gym Leader, someone trusts me more than you do.”
“Don't get shitty with me.”
“I'm not.”
“You are.”
“I'm not. I just said that.” I was a bit shitty with him. It had kind of hurt when he dragged me out of the shop.
“Look, are you really okay to do this? You know the kind of psychos that hang out in the tower.”
“Yeah, I know. I’ve got Mr. Fuzzy here to help us out.” I grinned and scratched Gengar’s head again.
“Fuzzy?”
“Yeah, he’s fuzzy today.”
“He’s a ghost, Morty.”
“Touch him!”
“What? No.”
“Touch Gengar’s fuzzy head, Eusine.”
“No.”
“Touch the fuzzy!”
“Come on.” This is the part where he grabbed me by the ear. He says that I tried to set Gengar on him at this point but I doubt that. Gengar denies it as well but he’s a filthy liar most of the time, it’s part of his charm. Eusine however, isn’t a liar so I'm not sure about this bit. I certainly don't remember telling Gengar to set a Shadow Ball on him but being dragged around by the ear hurts so I wouldn’t be surprised if I had. Incidentally, I don't know if Eusine ever believed me about Gengar feeling fuzzy that day.
So after he dragged me to the Burned Tower, Eusine’s stopped me outside and given me a talk. You know the kind, ‘behave yourself, don’t touch things because you don't know how old they are, keep your shoes on’, all like I'm some kind of stupid child. Which was funny at the time considering why we were there. If some stupid child hadn’t been lost in the tower then I would have been able to have a Sunday off. I told Eusine that.
“You’re the Gym Leader. You have the same responsibilities that your family has had for Generations.”
That’s his answer to everything.
“Kids weren’t always that stupid, that’s only recent. And I know how old everything in that tower is and of course I’ll leave my shoes on because I don't want a seven-hundred year old splinter in my foot.”
“How old are you?”
“I don't know, ask my mother.”
“Look, let’s go, okay?” Eusine said. I let him drag open the door to the tower. He looked like he had it under control so I didn't want to get in his way. I followed him in though. Eusine looked around with his torch for a while, I think he checked the ceiling to make sure it wasn't going to fall in again like it had the last time we were there, or at least I hope he checked the ceiling. I was too busy drinking Gatorade in the dark. I only realised later on that I don't even like Gatorade. I only got it to annoy Eusine, he hates the stuff.
“I should have gone to the farm for some milk.” I said sadly.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Hey! Is someone there?” Eusine had been ready to say something but he stopped. I'm pretty sure he was going to say something because he’d turned back to face me and rolled his eyes. But when that kid shouted out from the basement he stopped. I guess he realised that he could yell at me some more later on. I’d totally forgotten that I’d invited him and a couple of other friends around for dinner. But that comes later in the story, we’re still in the tower now.
“Are you okay?” Eusine called down through the hole in the floor.
“Of course I'm not okay! If I was okay I would have just walked out of here, wouldn’t I?”
The kid was a little bit hysterical. He was also a bit of a smart arse.
“Hey Mr. Fuzzy, get in there and calm him down, okay?” I said. Gengar grinned widely and jumped down into the basement. Me and Eusine had to use the ladders and by the time we got there, the kid was a lot calmer.
“Why is he asleep?” Eusine directed the question at Gengar, who shrugged.
“I think that’s a bit much.” I patted his head again. “He can't complain now though.”
“Morty, he knocked the kid out.”
“So?”
“So? So now we have to wait for him to wake up to find out what happened.”
“Well it’s pretty obvious that he fell in the dark and broke his ankle, isn’t it?” I said.
“What?”
“Look at his ankle.” I finished my Gatorade and gave the bottle to Gengar, he’d get a kick out of playing with it for a while at least. “I'm pretty sure it’s broken.”
“How sure?”
“Falkner broke his ankle a few years ago and it pretty much looked like that.”
“How did Falkner break his ankle?”
“He fell out of a tree.”
“Why was he in a tree?”
“I don't know.” I said. Eusine was on the ground by then, looking through his bag for something.
“We have to move him before he wakes up then.”
“Why?”
“Well if it’s broken then he’ll probably scream if he’s awake.”
“Right. What are you going to do about it then?”
“Bandage it tightly so we can move him to the Centre.”
“Don't do that.”
“Why not?”
“Don't take his shoe off, I just said that.” I seized the opportunity to grab Eusine by the back of his collar. I'm sure he didn't appreciate it but he kind of deserved it by then.
“Let me move the kid, Morty.”
“If you take his shoe off his ankle will swell up more than it already has. Let them deal with it at the Centre.” I said. “Hey you,” I kicked up a rock at Gengar. It didn't hurt him but it got his attention and that was all I needed. “Is he really asleep?” Gengar nodded enthusiastically. “Good job. Do you want to carry him or should I?” I said to Eusine.
He looked at me like I’d suggested we go on a date in the National Park. I can make that comparison because I suggested that once for a laugh just to see what his reaction would be. Whitney laughed so hard she fell off her chair.
Eusine was the one to carry the kid to the Pokemon Centre. I sent Gengar on ahead to let them know we were coming and Eusine walked pretty slowly for someone carrying the dead-weight of an unconscious kid in their arms. Seriously, Ecruteak isn’t that big but it took us almost fifteen minutes to get to the Centre. That’s just stupid. I could have gone home, made something to eat and still have beaten him there. I thought about doing that but he was still pretty unimpressed with me so I just kept walking quietly and making small talk to make him think I was interested in whatever it was he was talking about.
When we finally got to the Centre I sat down in the waiting room with Gengar and we threw the empty Gatorade bottle back and forth for a while. Eusine was in with the Nurse keeping an eye on the kid and it’s not like I had anything else to do that day. I probably should have gone to check on the others back home but it was a Sunday and I didn't want to be the one telling them to tone down their fun on a Sunday. I was having fun. Sure, it was a bit unfortunate that the kid had a broken ankle but that was kind of his fault for going into the Burned Tower alone.
Don't get me wrong, I felt bad for him because broken ankles hurt, I know. I had to listen to Falkner complaining like a bitch when he broke his. That was before he became Gym Leader though so at least he didn't have to run the place like that. The downside was that he had all that free time to sit around in my Gym complaining.
“Hey Morty?”
“Yeah?” I looked up to answer Eusine just as Gengar threw the bottle again. It hit me in the face. It took a minute of swearing loudly to feel better about being hit in the face with a Gatorade bottle and I started to ignore Gengar; he’d apologise within a few minutes if I did that.
“You remember you’re having people over tonight, right?” Eusine asked.
“Um...” I tried to look thoughtful. It didn't work. I'm sure I just looked like I was trying not to lie too badly. “I do now.”
“So you've got nothing ready?”
“I have food, it’s not cooked though.”
“Do you want me to do it?”
“Huh?”
“You’ll probably burn down the Gym or something.”
“I would not, I'm completely fine. I've been fine all day you know.”
“No you haven’t.”
“Yeah, I have. I was only ever just fucked up enough to find everything funny. I am totally safe like that. I could have battled and still won.”
“Sure you could have. I’ll go back to the Gym and figure something out if you stay with the kid until he wakes up.”
“Fine. I could do it myself you know.”
“Is Jasmine coming?”
“No, she’s busy. Just Falkner, Whitney, Bugsy and you, why?”
“Because it’s almost four, if Jasmine’s not coming I’ll just go pick some things up from the Olivine Dining Room.”
“That’s cheating.”
“They won't know.”
“Fine.” I rolled my eyes. I’d meant to make something properly, I’d even gone shopping the night before so I had everything. There was always next time, it wasn't like they didn't come over every few weeks anyway. So I swapped with Eusine and went in to check on the kid, while he went down to Olivine to pick up some food so I didn't look like a total loser in front of everyone. I was right though, the kid did have a broken ankle. He wouldn’t be able to stay at the Centre for very long though, it’s not a big one in Ecruteak. If anything serious happens we just get the Centre in Goldenrod to take them on, they're much bigger. Gengar was sitting on the end of the kid’s bed examining the cast on his ankle.
“Don't touch that.” I warned him. “Or I’ll throw something at your face.” He just laughed at me and touched the kid’s leg anyway. “Hey, I told you not to do that.”
“Huh?” I swear, that was the first thing the kid said when he woke up. I thought he was just stupid but I guess it was pretty acceptable since he’d been knocked out with Hypnosis. Just.
“Hey kid, what’s your name?”
“Gold. Huh? What happened?”
“You ruined my Sunday because you fell and broke your ankle and Eusine made me come with him to rescue you even though I'm sure he could have done it by himself.” I said.
“I broke my ankle?”
“Yeah. The nurse says it’s not too bad. You can’t stay here though, the Centre is full up.”
“I can't?”
“No. They’ll have to move you to Goldenrod.”
“But I just came from there.”
“Looks like you're going back.”
“Oh.”
Gengar jumped down to the floor and tugged on my scarf. Whatever it was couldn’t have been too important since he pretty much had my attention anyway. I don't think I’ll ever understand why the Ghosts do that. Seriously, when there’s no one else around, where is my attention going to be? He made a few gestures and I sighed.
“Hey kid, you can stay in the Gym.” I was trying to sound enthusiastic. I mean, it’s my job to take in people when they need it and I don't really mind as long as they clean up after themselves and stay out of my things.
“The Gym?”
“Are you stupid or just half-conscious?”
“Both.” He said after a pause.
“I'm Morty, leader of the Ecruteak Gym. I’ll have someone come around later to pick you up. You should try to sleep off some of that stupidity.”
“Yeah, okay.”
That kid really was stupid.
So I went back to the Gym with Gengar following close behind like always. I had no idea when Eusine would be back with the food and I had no idea what time I’d told everyone to show up for dinner. Bugsy would be late like he always was, but I could overlook that because Ecruteak is a pretty long walk from Azalea. I suppose that he wasn't late that night thought because I didn't remember what time I’d said. It was only a short walk back to the Gym but it was nice and peaceful. I think that’s why I like Ecruteak so much, even when it’s busy it never feels rushed. I told Whitney that over dinner, she couldn’t imagine living anywhere else but the big city. I guess everyone feels like that in a way though. They wouldn’t live where they do if they didn't feel something for the place. The best part about Ecruteak is that I know Sundays are always quiet, so even though my one day off had been ruined this week by that stupid kid who I had somehow invited to both dinner and to stay at my Gym, it would happen again next week. And you know what? The next week, I locked myself in the Gym where Eusine couldn’t find me, and I got completely fucking wasted.