Green at the Party
Maybe I'd been too hard on Brendan.
I mean, it wasn't his fault that his woman was such a man. Not totally, at least. So maybe it'd been rude of me to call her his Mistress. They didn't seem like they were into that kind of thing, anyway. Not that it was any of my business. Maybe they are, given how annoyed he seemed when I said it.
Whatever. That's his problem, and right now, I'm in no position to judge anyone else's relationship or sex life. Not until after I finish explaining to grandpa what the hell is up with mine.
Ugh. Grandpa. Tomorrow's gonna be a pain in the ass. Hopefully not literally, I don't think grandpa will pull out the belt with Agatha around. Then again, I didn't think he would anymore after I turned 18, but given last month, 19 still isn't old enough for him to stop treating me like a child. “Under his roof” and all that. Fuck that old fashioned codger... He ain't married to Agatha... But that's probably just some kind of “honoring grandma” thing in his head....
I need to stop thinking about this crap. Probably because all that's left in my glass is ice and vaguely lime-flavored water. Blaine's a shitty bartender. Too much ice in all the drinks all night, but they're free, so I guess I can't complain too much.
The stools are nice at least. Lance has good taste, comfort-wise. Everything's fucking tacky and over the top, but it's comfortable. Third time tonight I've been on these stools, dunno why I'm bothering getting up between them. I guess I'm just waiting for Red to show up, and that's why I keep getting up to look for him. Leaf got here about an hour ago, and she's fretting around for him too, when she's not being all motherly with fixing the other girls' hair. She's been trapped in a house with a bunch of coordinators too long by now. She never used to care about her appearance further than her hat being on forward and her skirt covering her ass. I used to be able to get away with telling her it was when it wasn't, too. Not that all the skin conditioners and stuff the other girls have talked her into haven't made her even more beautiful, just that I liked rough-around-the-edges Leaf. Being all tomboyish and worldly and looking like she'd been out on the road, tan lines and everything, suited her.
But she wasn't on the road anymore. Neither was I. I was rooted down on this damn Plateau for over a year now, same with her, same with Red. Rooted to the gym for four years now.
“Four years? Really?” It wasn't something to be saying out loud, but damn't, had I really spent half my career as a trainer attached to that damn gym in Viridian? No, not half. More than that. It'd only been seven years since I left Pallet the first time...
Maybe I'll go climb the mountain. Getting dirt under my nails sounds perfect right now. I'll grab Red, maybe Leaf too if she hasn't pansied out too much for an adventure, we'll go climb the mountain, spend Christmas up there, just like the old days. Dirt everywhere, freezing our asses off, forgetting to come out from under the blankets for days at a time. Just like that first winter when I ran away from the gym. Yeah, that'd be way better than dinner at grandpa's...
“Yeah, it's been about that long, hasn't it?”
I didn't mean for anyone to hear me. It's one of those big burly gym leaders from one of the other regions. They all look like Bruno, so I can't keep them straight, and he's sitting on a chair so I can't tell how tall he is. I think he's called Chuck.
“They pick 'em young these days,” he muses, so I figure it's gotta be Chuck, the others are all too young to be talking like that. “I don't think I even had eight badges when I was your age. But I finished school first.”
I'm laughing and I'm not sure why, but Blaine's put another drink down in front of me so the liquor probably has something to do with it. Maybe it's just the thought of these muscle-heads with a diploma. “Never said I did too well, just said I finished it,” he adds, and so I stop laughing. No sense in being rude to my elders.
He's talking like he's got more drinks in him than I do, so I don't know how seriously to take him when he starts talking about the award I won. “Most Gym Battles Won”. Third year in a row. Apparently it's not meant to be an honorable award, even if there is a little plaque that goes with it. Apparently it's meant to be my cue to go a bit easier on challengers next year.
I frown as I remember my upcoming battle with Yellow. She wasn't ready to go battle the Elite Four. I can't go easy on people like her. People like Ethan. Any of them. Yeah, I'm supposed to scale myself a bit, at least, but I can't give badges out for free like Misty...
“It's just because I don't stick to one type, so people can't go all cheap type advantage on me.”
Bru-I mean, Chuck looks hurt at that. “Well, all the more reason for what I was going to suggest.” He's being really careful with his words, like he's trying to talk down to me. It's annoying, and my glass is getting low again. I rub my eyebrow and then look at him expectantly, waiting for him to issue this famous suggestion of his.
“You're good, kid. I think you need to go get into the Elite Four, instead of being a Gym Leader.”
“Could. Don't want to.”
“Why not?”
“Gym's closer to home.” That's why I chose that damned building anyway, despite it being ugly. It's not even an hour's bike ride from grandpa's lab.
“Really? Because I heard you've been living here in Indigo for over a year now.”
“Where'd ya hear that?” I slam my drink down, forgetting it's got anything in it, and curse as I feel it splash over onto my hand. I'll tell Blaine to make the next one frozen.
“That pretty little thing of yours.”
Takes me a second to realize he means Leaf. I rub my eyebrow again, this time with the cold glass, which feels better than my hand. “Yeah, guess I have.” Pallet still seems to be home even though I've been up here this long. A little less so, when I think about the belt waiting for me there, and when I realize Daisy's been gone since before I've been a leader. When I remember she and that jerkwad reproduced and now I'll be meeting little Sammy for the first time tomorrow.
I set my glass back down, staring at the ice cubes, before I manage to sigh and look back up at this guy. He doesn't look like he should be wearing a suit. I pull it off way better than him. “...You're probably right. None of this stupid scaling nonsense in being on the Four...” I mutter, squinting a bit and letting my eyes drift around the room. “Pays well too, if Lance is any evidence.” This place is stacked, and the whole condo I've been renting with those other idiots could probably fit in this ballroom.
“He's been there a long time, but I'm sure it does.”
“I have to beat one of them out, right?”
“That's most of it.”
Agatha'd be the easy answer. I have no shame in beating an old woman. But she stepped down a couple years ago, so she's not an option. I'd say Bruno, but he's been in the Elite Four as long as I've been alive, I think. Karen... I was going to need a couple more drinks to even think about dealing with that piece of work again. I was sure she was here at the party, too, but saying that was like saying Cynthia was at the party, it hadn't mattered since the media left around 6:30. Koga was scary in his own way, but I can beat him, easy, too, I'm sure. But something about that lacked satisfaction. I'd beaten him years before, when he was just a gym leader, after all.
“Just”, I was thinking about my own position.
“If you see Lance before I do, tell him his days of luxury are numbered,” I tell the guy, then stand up. Now I had something to do until Red showed up.
I ran into Leaf before I made it five steps from the bar. “I see you and May haven't found each other yet,” she teased, kissing me quickly, and I just rolled my eyes, putting my empty hand around her waist.
“Why is that the first thing everyone says to me?” You get drunk enough to make out with someone you're not with once and people hold it against you for years. Okay, twice. I still didn't believe anyone that it had happened again at Halloween this year, because I didn't remember it. But maybe that was why Brendan had asked me if I'd seen her. “Is she even here? Brendan's looking for her.”
Leaf shakes her head, smiling politely as Pryce walks by, giving us a wave. It's strange to see anyone still so put together against the otherwise drunken atmosphere the party's already taken, but he's always been a gentleman. Leaf and I probably look fairly proper at the moment too, aside from the silly Santa hat she'd put on. Both of us wore formal wear well, unlike Red who'll probably show up in jeans. He just isn't Red any other way though.
I saw Ethan was following suit and, while he was otherwise wearing something that I was pretty sure wasn't actually his, he still had his baseball cap on. I'd call it stupid, but I promised Leaf I wouldn't pick on him or Barry tonight. Even if they did make it easy.
“Haven't seen her yet. Red either.” Her voice is so hushed and proper I can barely hear it over the music. I kiss her forehead, surveying the room over her hat in search of any of my targets. I made no promises about harassing future ex-Elite Four members. “We should dance,” she says with a giggle, and I nod a little, not really thinking about what she's saying, even as her fingers rest on my shoulder.
“We should,” I agree, catching a flash of red from the corner of my eye. “Later.” Another quick kiss and I'm halfway across the ballroom. I've got to grab Lance before anyone else can, or at least anyone I can't interrupt.
“You,” I announce, striding up between him and the statue he was posing with. He's got at least a dozen Dragon sculptures around the room, and this one's his new one, some pokemon I only recognize because Cheren knows everything about every gym leader in Unova. I doubt Lance has seen one in person.
“Green! So glad you could make it! I thought you'd be back in Pallet with your family.” Everything about him is so boisterous that I'm sure Wallace is cowering in shame somewhere in the room, and this guy wouldn't know coordinating if it poured glitter down his cape.
“Whatever,” I grunt. “I'll be welcoming you next year.”
“Oh? Is Red hosting?”
He isn't even looking at me. Or at the wine glass he's holding. “No, I will be. From this very room.”
I don't know what about him gets me so pissed off. I think it's the cape, or maybe it's just the whole dragon trainer thing in general. Claire gets me fired up the same way, except I actually did punch her in the face once. I was 13, so I don't think she'd even know it was me by now, but I'm not going to ask her.
And right now Lance is giving me the kind of pretentious look that makes me feel completely justified in wanting to challenge him right here and now. If I'd brought anyone besides Eevee with me, I would, but they always televise these things so even if I tried, they'd make me wait. “How will you be hosting from my mansion?”
“It'll be mine. I'm taking you down, Lance,” I growl, a grin on my mouth as I remember the twice before I've beaten the son of a bitch. “I'm taking your position, and your mansion, and even your cape. But you can keep your statues.”
I realize I'm pointing at him with my finger only an inch from his chest, and then I realize that part of why he and Claire piss me off is because they're taller than me, and that's just obnoxious. Palmer's usually the only one taller than me at these shindigs, ever since I hit six foot, and he's from Unova to begin with so he's got an excuse. I put my finger down before anyone can start staring at me, adjusting my tie as I try to regain my composure. “Nothing personal, of course. I'm just sick of the Gym life.”
He shrugs, and the hint of alarm that stays in his eyes as he looks across the room brings another surge of adrenaline to my chest. I can taste victory already. “Understandable. I fled from that drudgery the first chance I got, years ago.”
He's trying to be conversational, but I've got him nervous now. Damn, why didn't I bring my pokeballs with me?
Then there's a flash of blonde behind him, and as he continues talking, I notice Yellow's here and she's looking absolutely adorable in the dress Brendan made for her, with Chuchu clinging to her shoulder still. I smile past Lance, waiting for him to take a breath so I can blow him off and go pester our sister properly.
Then I realize where she's heading, in a slow motion sort of way that doesn't really register until I take another sip of my drink. Ethan's somewhere over there, which I suppose is better than the two hours she spent talking to Wally at Halloween, but it's still Ethan. But maybe she's just saying hi to him, or asking him where I'm at – after all, Lucas and Brendan are standing around the same table. Maybe she's trying to talk to one of them instead. Lucas is a nice kid; I don't care if she talks to him.
I watch her just in case any of them try anything stupid. Red doesn't seem to be watching her, so one of us needs to be.
And what I manage to watch is her tapping that little shit on the shoulder, kissing him on the cheek, and skipping off.
“Hold this,” I command Lance, cutting him off as I shove my drink into his gesturing hand. I need to go scold our little sister for doing something so stupid. After I beat some sense into Ethan for letting it happen. “That little shit... Yellow's way too good for him,” I snarl, snaking my way through the crowd toward him.
Then the person in front of me won't move, and I look down to realize it's Leaf, and she's sidestepping into my path each time I try to move.
“No,” she snaps before I can even open my mouth, her hands on my shoulders.
I scowl at her, wondering why she always sides with letting Yellow do something stupid. “You don't even know what I'm gonna do.”
“I know it's going to be very unpleasant for a boy that's suddenly having a very wonderful night.”
“As it should be!” Somehow she was missing that the entire point of this was to make Ethan very, very miserable. “He touched Yellow!” That completely voided any “not picking on him” deals I'd made with her.
“Please don't be like that. Ethan didn't do anything.” She's giving me that puppy eyed look. It hasn't worked since we were seven, except maybe for when she wants me to go down on her, and somehow I doubt that's the case right now so it's pointless.
“Yet.” How she could be so blind as to not realize Ethan would be doing all sorts of horrible things to Yellow within the hour if I didn't stop him right now was beyond me. I try to tell her as much, but then she's kissing me, and damn that girl can kiss, and I remember that if Yellow is here, Red must be too, and that means kisses from him too. And besides, the music's actually fairly pretty, so I can dance with my girlfriend for a while. I promised her earlier, anyway. But I'm going to keep a watch on Ethan, in case he goes near Yellow again, and as soon as Leaf forgets she's supposed to be distracting me, I'm going to go smack sense into both of them.
A couple songs later, she's still got me snared, but that girl's fingers are magic on my shoulders so I'll let her keep me here a bit longer. Lucas is the only one still at that table now, and I think he's asleep, but Yellow had hold of Red's shirt last I saw her, so she's safe for now. One more song can't hurt.
Leaf's been nuzzling my neck for a bit now, and she starts talking quietly enough I have to concentrate to hear her over the music. “It's so nice to have a night off, where we don't have to worry about anything.”
A night off? I laugh. She tries to tell me she's serious, but I don't know how she could be. Even tonight I'm still on my guard; watching for challengers, planning my battle against Lance, keeping boys' filthy hands off our little sister. It's true that I had a whole week of not needing to go to the gym ahead of me, but those trips to and from weren't so bad, flying the hour each way on Pidgeot was pretty sweet, when the weather was nice. But that was one week out of 52, and Red technically didn't even have that week off, though people got all the way to challenging him so rarely that his job was mostly publicity. It was no wonder he'd developed a variant of the Cynthia personality over the last seven years, with people challenging him all the time.
“...So that's it,” I thought aloud as realization rained down on me. “That's why you're so laid back about everything.”
Leaf pulls her head back a bit, raising an eyebrow at me. “What?” she asks, and I just shake my head and laugh.
“That's why you don't get it. Because you don't have all the responsibility that Red and I do.” I pull the santa hat off of her head, because Arceus she looks stupid with it on, and smooth down her hair as she starts trying to grab it from my hand.
“I don't because I choose not to. I still have other things I have to do; I just don't do them in the public eye.”
Oh, silly woman. Thinking whatever it was she did all day was as hard as the constant training and battling Red and I went through. But she didn't know any better, did she? She'd stopped with her badges, never done anything with them. So of course she doesn't know how hard it is.
I put on the hat to keep it from her, then grab her hands for extra insurance. The logical conclusion is forming in my head, and I smile broadly as it surfaces fully, giving her hands a good squeeze. “It's okay sweetheart,” I coo, nuzzling our foreheads together. “I know you just haven't experienced responsibility on the same level as us guys. But I'll fix that for you, very soon. Then you'll never be so bored as to worry like this, and you'll understand why we have to guard Yellow so well, too. I'm sure of it.”
She's trying really hard to look venomous, but instead she just looks adorable. I'm so tempted to pick her up and just do awful things to her right now, but that might get me booted from the league, so I won't. “What,” she says, completely deadpan, and I just smile wider. Of course she wouldn't realize the easy answer like I did.
I scoop one hand beneath her chin, holding her eyes up to look into mine while I announce my brilliant plan. “I'm going to knock you up, so you can have some responsibility too. Then you'll understand the kind of stress Red and I have to go through every day, I'm sure.”
It's perfect, and as a bonus, it means sex and it means getting the Oak genetics passed down before grandpa flips out more. Sammy may be born from our tree, but he's not an Oak by name, so grandpa's starting to get antsy about leaving a legacy. I let go of Leaf's other hand and press my palm to her stomach. It's just barely got a curve to it, same as always, and I think about how it'd look swelled up. She'd have to tie her hair back, or maybe cut it, but the look would suit Leaf well, doubly so if she put on an apron. Her breasts would get bigger too, and while there was a lot about women to dislike, a proper pair of knockers weren't on that list. “Yeah, I'm gonna fill this belly full of babies.” The more I think about it, the better the idea sounds, and the more I like rubbing my hand along her stomach.
“G-Green, how much have you had to drink tonight?”
There she goes, trying to change the subject again. I roll my eyes, letting go of her chin, though my other hand keeps playing on her belly for the moment. “Not enough to forget about the beatings I owe Lance and Ethan,” I answer honestly. She starts to ask me why I owe one to Lance, then suddenly stops to slap my hand away from her stomach. It kind of hurts, but now I'm thirsty again so I really don't care. “Lance has my drink,” I remember, and I hear her sigh, but before she can tell me why she's getting so huffy, not that I wanted to know, I realize Yellow has disappeared from behind Reddy-teddy.
“...Shit.” I can't see where Ethan is either, so I'm sure he's trying to talk her out of her dress somewhere, that little perv, and that is one image I'm already regretting letting come to mind. “I need to find her before he does.”
“Why? Before who does?”
Oh, right, I was dancing with Leaf. The planning of the next generation of Oaks will have to wait a couple more hours though, because I need to go prevent there ever being another Gold. “Wait here, my love,” I insist to Leaf, placing a finger over her lips. “You've got to have patience, I'm sorry. I'll be back for you.”
She apparently just can't wait though, since she grabs hold of my jacket sleeve rather tightly, her voice showing fatigue as she asks again where I'm going. “I have to explain to Yellow that boys are disgusting creatures who must never be trusted,” I tell her again, and she gives me a sigh that I know is probably questioning how I can believe such a thing about my own gender. But even I'm awful, wanting so badly to pin Leaf to a wall in this very room. Red is the only man who can be trusted, and Yellow needs to know that much.
I see a flash of blonde through a window, and I release my darling girlfriend, setting out at full speed toward the nearest door. It only takes an extra few steps to grab my beverage back from Lance, and then I'm to the door before I realize it's not actually mine, and that whatever he's been drinking, it's stronger and less fruity than my mai tais. It'll do for now, because I'm already out in the cold now and I'm not going back in until after I find our little sister.
But there's another blond at this party, and the one I saw out here is definitely not that sweetheart. It's Barry, and for some probably stupid reason the skinny bastard is out here, in a foot of snow, in nothing but his boxers. He's jogging, and I ask him how much he's had to drink, and he marches in place as he tells me he doesn't drink.
“So you're just crazy then? Out here, damn near naked, in this weather?”
“I lost a bet,” he tells me, and I sigh.
“This is no way to act if you're serious about wanting to become Sinnoh's champion,” I warn him, coughing when I forget again what's in my glass and gulp too much at once. “The media goes crazy over this sort of thing.”
I realize the boxers he's got on have little red-nosed, santa hat wearing Shaymin all over them, and as I adjust the hat I forgot I had on, I tell him that at least those are good ones to show up in the tabloids in.
“Thanks, Dawn gave me them,” he smiled proudly, and I don't know whether to be happy for him that he's obviously finally getting laid or sorry for him for hooking up with a coordinator.
I settle on, “Damn,” before I remember I was telling him not to be running around out here in his underwear, and I repeat that part.
“Well, the bet was over a battle,” he adds, rubbing his arms. Poor kid, the cold's starting to get to him, though I guess growing up in Sinnoh made this September weather, not December weather, unless that was just Snowpoint. Red could probably stand out here in his boxers all night and barely shiver, too, or at least all those nights on Mt Silver felt about like that.
“So this is your penalty for losing the battle?”
“This was the backup penalty,” he admitted sheepishly. “The original penalty carried far more dishonor.”
So he had the sense not to be completely naked, at least. That was good. “You can't be losing like that,” I drawled, sipping my drink. “We should battle, when I get back from Pallet. Get you more practice.”
“Oh wow, that'd be amazing!” he shivered, puffing air into his hands. “But... for now, you think I can go back to jogging? I have three more laps to go.”
“Oh, right.” I nod, putting my hands into my pockets. Kid has guts at least. Follow-through. Good traits in a champion.
Traits Ethan was horribly lacking, which I still needed to warn Yellow about. He wouldn't care about honor.
I head back inside, leaving the little ritalin poster child to continue his running, letting the door slam behind me. Another flash of blond, but I can tell that's not Yellow, it looks too much like the last one I dealt with. I long for the days when the only blond other than her were a couple gym leaders, then I remember this is the first year she's been allowed to any of the parties. No wonder I don't remember defending her from anyone but Wally before now.
Huh, maybe that's where she went. He's smart enough not to touch her after the crushing I gave him when he talked to her at Halloween, but they're close to the same age so I bet she's talking to him again. Or maybe to those creepy twins from Hoenn, they're around her age too.
Leaf's waiting for me inside though. She's talking to May, who finally decided to show up, though it looks like she forgot pants because I swear she's wearing one of Brendan's shirts and some pantyhose. Something like that. The color looks good on her though, and from the right angle I can see her bra through the gaps between her buttons. She wobbles like she's drunk already as she sets her head onto Leaf's shoulder, letting out an exaggerated laugh. Her makeup is smeared, too, and I'd think she's been crying except she wipes her eyes as she stands back up, and there's a black stripe on her hand too, so that's probably why. She must be angry, I've only ever seen her drunk like this before when she's been mad, but then again I told Brendan earlier that she's always mad, didn't I?
Leaf gently pushes her away, pointing toward another corner of the room, and May heads off in that direction, but glances back at me for a moment and I swear she looks hungry when she does.
Damn. I usually don't go for women anymore, but she's got so much fight in her that I-
My girlfriend's lips are on my cheek, and I rub it afterward, because it was just too wet. “What?” I ask, and she just sighs.
“Don't do it again.”
“Do what?” I raise my hand to take a drink, but the glass of whatever Lance had is empty. If Blaine's still bartending, I'll just get back there and make something for myself. “You seen Reddy-teddy anywhere?”
She laughs through her nose, which means she doesn't want me to know she's laughing. “Don't call him that, and he's with Yellow.”
“I can call my Reddy-teddy whatever I want.” Right, the glass is empty. I keep forgetting. “Good that she's with him. Where's Ethan.”
“I don't know.” She tries not to look at where the little shit is, but I follow her gaze before she can move it.
“I win,” I tell her, pushing my empty glass into her hand. But Ethan's got Lyra hovering a couple inches from him on one side, and some older woman talking to them both, and she looks important so I'll avoid interrupting, don't need to make myself look bad. I'll just keep track of him, and get that next drink in the mean time.
Blaine's gone missing, and Pryce looks at me like he's not going to serve me anything, so I just lean over the counter and grab a glass the first time he walks away. “I'm legal, you can't cut me off. Besides, I ain't driving,” I remind him once I realize the glass is just ice, and he begrudgingly pours something that smells like paint thinner in my glass. I steal a couple of cherries as long as I'm leaning over that far, popping one in my mouth as I stand back up. The sweetness makes the vodka easier to handle, so I keep that one in my mouth while I sip my drink, playing with the stem.
I should find Reddy-teddy and feed him the other one. He smiles when he's drunk, and he's cuter when he smiles. But he hates stuff this strong.
I find him sitting in a corner, on a couch with Yellow. All our pokemon are there with them, including Iggy who is up way past his bedtime and I tell them so as greeting. Eevee looks up at me from the coffee table, yipping, then goes back to sniffing one of the empty bottles someone's left on it. He looks half perplexed and half intrigued, and I laugh at the thought of him getting drunk too.
Then there are arms around my waist and a muffled squeal of “Green-niii-channnn” in my chest and I laugh as I pat her on the head, careful not to mess up the curls either Dawn or Red's mom did for her.
“Look how pretty my dress is!” she chirps, spinning. “Brendan did a great job, didn't he?”
Yeah, that bitch can sew, that's for sure. I smirk and nod, walking over to sit down onto Reddy-teddy's lap. I offer him the other cherry from my drink, and he shakes his head, holding up his own barely-touched pink concoction that's probably a strawberry daiquiri. He loves strawberry. So does Yellow and she's got a kid's version sitting on the table between the bottles. Iggy and I lock eyes for a second as I catch him pulling the little plastic sword out of her drink, then he floats off with it before I can tell him to put it back.
Yellow's still trying to talk to me, and she's adorable so I should pay attention, but I'm busy worrying her dress is too short. It barely reaches her knees. She's only 13, she shouldn't be dressed like that. Damn that Brendan. But she's got tights on so whatever, at least she won't freeze.
“And Dawn did my hair but it took soooooo long and it made it smell burny a couple of times but watch!” she grabs one corkscrew and pulled on it, only for it to spring back into position, and giggled. “Cool, huh?”
She keeps finding excuses to turn around, and I realize she's probably looking for that little shit, and sigh. “Yellow, your brother and I need to have a talk with you,” I announced, patting my lap. Red scowled at me a little, probably because it shook him and he was having to hold his drink really carefully. I decide it'd be mean to have us both sitting on him, so I slide off, sitting down a foot away and patting the couch between us instead. Yellow bounds over and hops into my lap, flopping over so her head's laying on Red's.
She's so adorable I could just hug her forever. I should go castrate Ethan after this.
Red gives me a look that says he has no idea what we're talking to her about, and I sigh again. “I need you to listen very carefully, Yellow,” I tell her, and she nods, sitting back up and staring at me intently. “This is probably the most important thing I have EVER told you.”
She nods again, eyes wide. Chuchu is now sitting on her lap, looking at me expectantly too. That's fine, I doubt Pikachu has ever had this talk with her, so she should listen, too.
“Boys are awful creatures.”
She starts giggling, and I stare at her until she calms down. She needs to actually listen, but she's not taking me seriously.
“I mean it, Yellow. You need to stay away from them. They are horrible, awful creatures who will give you cooties.”
“Green-nii-chan, cooties don't exist. Don't be so silly.” She's covering her mouth as she giggles, and I realize someone's gone and put makeup on my darling sister. It's just something glittery on her eyelids, but she's still about 10 years too young for that sort of thing. I lick my thumb and reach for her face to try and rub it off, and she squeaks, leaning away from my hand.
“Hold still,” I grunt. It's hard enough to do this without poking her in the eye without her squirming.
“Nooooo I don't want your slobber on my face! Grooossss!”
I frown. She understands the cooties thing after all, at least, but she's still got makeup on. “Then promise me you're not going to even think about touching any boys.”
“I don't want to touch any boys,” she assures me. She's blushing a little though, and I noticed her lips were glittery too. She has lip gloss on. She had lip gloss on when she kissed that little shit on the cheek. Castration would be going easy on him at this stage.
“Or talk to them or even LOOK at them,” I growl, staring her in the eyes. She looks a little scared, but that was okay, she should be scared to do anything with boys except kick their asses at pokemon.
“Nii-samaaaa,” she whines, crawling quickly out of my lap and into his, then a little behind him. Chuchu's nowhere to be seen either, though Pikachu's looking a little sparky as he stares at me. “Nii-chan's being scary.” She ducked her face behind his shoulder, and I feel bad for making her scared of me, but she needs to know that her brother is the only guy in the world who's not an awful, awful man. Her real brother at that. I'm no better, with the awful things I do to him...
I stand up, remembering that I need to go do a whole different kind of awful to Ethan. Just scaring him won't work like it did on Wally, I need to actually hurt him for it to get through his dense skull that he needs to stay away from Yellow. I kiss Red on the lips and Yellow on the forehead and pick Eevee up by the scruff and put him on my shoulder. There's a couple unopened beers on the table and I take one of those too.
I don't see Lyra over where Ethan was before, but that means I might have lost track of the little shit entirely. I head that way anyway, holding the not-cold-enough bottle to my brow as I walk. Eevee asks something about what we're doing, but I'm too annoyed to try and understand a pokemon right now, so I ignore him.
Damn't, Ethan's gone. I should have just stayed with Reddy-teddy and gotten some quality time in. Maybe it's not too late to find Dawn or something and make her watch Yellow so we can sneak off early. Chances are good I'm not getting any for the rest of the year if I don't tonight, grandpa'll make sure of that. This is Leaf's fault; it was her idea for us to spend the week off back in Pallet instead of holed up in Red's room like a good couple... thing... should be. But their parents took the whole thing well, not like grandpa, so of course they were fine with going back to town. They weren't the ones who got caught with their dick out.
Some Elite Four douche from one of the other regions is leaning against the wall where Ethan had been before. I'm starting to think the little shit was avoiding me on purpose. Maybe he did have a brain after all. The guy smirks at me knowingly, raising an eyebrow. He's kind of cute, in a way that makes him look younger than his height suggests. I smirk back, thinking he'd probably be good prey if I wasn't committed. I'd mess with him a bit, just to show him I don't back down from challenges, but Red's probably still watching and he gets mad when I start sticking my hands in other people's pockets. Maybe I should anyway. He's fun when he's jealous.
I'll talk to him, that can't hurt in either direction. If I lean against the wall by him, I'll have a good view of wherever that little shit's run off to. Bonus.
“Name's Aaron,” he says conversationally as I stand a couple inches from him. His drink doesn't look alcoholic, on closer inspection, and suddenly I worry he really is as young as he looks.
“Green Oak,” I answer.
“Like the Professor? He your dad?”
“No, grandfather,” I wince. I had this discussion about once a month, and it always made my head hurt.
“No way. He doesn't look old enough to have a grandson.”
“He's over 60,” I answer. Aaron continues to look surprised, and I don't know whether to curse or love those genes. “Gym Leader,” I explain, pointing to my chest with my thumb. The guy nods, reaching up to scratch Eevee on the head. He purrs politely, even though he hates it when people touch his ears.
“Elite Four. Sinnoh.”
Well no fucking wonder, then. By now I'm fully convinced that the whole country's made of fags, since they managed to invent Coordinating. Don't tell the fangirls that though; I realize now I recognize this guy from some magazine covers, and just like Wallace, teenage girls just eat him up, oblivious to his sexuality. “I'm going for Elite Four this year,” I boast, trying not to think about it. At least now I remember he's not that young, and I feel like less of a creep. “Maybe soon I'll be on magazine covers too.”
“You've seen me then?” he smirks, and I realize the advantages of him being sober are that he doesn't reek of booze, and that he's not saying things out loud he only meant to think.
“Sometimes. Maybe I'll see you later, too,” I chuckle, pushing away from the wall. Eevee's starting to dig his claws into my shoulder, which means he wants to go, and I should find Reddy-teddy and get him another drink. The boy needs to smile. God he's hot when he smiles.
Leaf seems to think I'm misbehaving because she's waiting for me again, and before she can start on whatever she's gonna start on I grab her by the ass and shoulder and dip her into a kiss like I should have two hours earlier. She tastes like that cherry lip gloss of hers I love so much, then I stand her upright and rub her belly again. “Grandpa will forgive me if I tell him I'm knocking you up,” I whisper, laughing and kissing her again, though she pulls back out of that one.
“You've had too much to drink,” she assures me, grabbing at my beer. Her cheeks are red, and it's cute.
“You can't have it.” I hold it above her head, switching hands when she gets on her tippy toes to grab at it.
“Baby, it's embarrassing.” She's pouting at me again. Those lips could be doing a thousand better things right now, and I tell her so, but she doesn't laugh with me, she just blushes more and looks away.
I use my free hand to pick Eevee up off my shoulder and put him onto hers, then pat them both on the head. “Don't be sad,” I tell her, “it's Christmas! Love is in the air.”
“You're drunk,” she repeats, and I think it's just adorable how she thinks she's right when she's not.
“Go keep Red company.” I pat her on the ass again, trying to push her toward them, then grab her wrist to stop her. “Wait, no. Go find someone to entertain Yellow for the night. A girl someone.” I frown as that still sounds awful, and I realize maybe I'll have to explain to Yellow why girls are bad, too. “A friend.”
She gives me a disgusted look, like she doesn't want me to bone her later or something, and I just laugh, because she's so cute when she's trying that hard. I lean to kiss her again but only reach her cheek before she walks away, mumbling something about me being on my own.
Well that's just fine, because I just spotted Ethan, and if she's gone then she can't stop me from wringing his neck. He's got his back to me, so there's no way in hell he'll escape me this time.
Lance is with him, too. All the better. I can trash him some more when I'm done with the little shit.
“Fffucknut!” I shout, the side of my fist colliding with his stupid hat, knocking him forward. He stumbles forward, yelping in pain, and when I look up, Lance doesn't seem to be sure if he should be thanking me or helping Ethan. “'Scuse us a minute,” I tell the bastard, grabbing Ethan by the back of his sweater vest and dragging him a few feet away from the crowd. “But you're next, so don't you fucking move!” I call back at him. He'll move, I'm sure, but he was warned so it gives me more reason to smash his face in with one of his damn statues.
To my alarm, Ethan's pants fall around his ankles as I jerk him along, and I realize they're undone. His underwear is still on, at least, though the boxerbriefs outline him better than I ever needed to see. The look of alarm that Lance had worn flashes across my mind, and Ethan is chuckling, his voice slurred. I don't remember punching him in the jaw so he must be drunk. “You challen'gin me too, Green?” he hiccups, giggling. “Of curse a fag-get like youuuu would wanna see the PERFECT body uh Ethan.” His laughter was painfully loud, matching most of his words, and I felt my face flush in a combination of anger and frustration over the dumbshit's rambling.
“Why you...” I growl, backhanding him. I swear I hear someone telling me to stop, but I'm sure it's just Leaf being stupid about this again, so I let go of Ethan's collar and knock his ankles out from under him at the same time. It doesn't take much, as wasted as he is, so now he's on his hands and knees and he's coughing but still laughing. I have no idea how to punish him for this bullshit, and I'm not even sure what he did to begin with because now this is just personal.
“Fucknut, I'll faggot you,” I snarl. I want to kick him in the balls but he's got his legs together so I can't easily. There's a scraping sound as his belt buckle clatters on the floor as he tries to get his feet under him, and I grin.
He'd get the belt, just like grandpa did to me. Revenge would be amazing.
Leaf is shouting “what the hell?” from behind me as I start to rip my belt off, and I'm sure with Ethan's pants down this must look like something entirely different. I fold the leather in half and just miss the little shit's ass with it, hitting his back instead. He starts cursing at me and scrambling to get up, and his hat goes tumbling off while Leaf is grabbing my arm. I let her pull my drink away, that's what she's been trying to do all night so that should get her off of me. But it doesn't for some reason. I manage to smack Ethan again, and now he's shaking and coughing, and on one hand I've got the bastard where I want him and on the other hand he's probably going to puke all over the carpet and the carpet's gonna be mine in a few weeks so I can't have that.
So I let Leaf take the belt too, since that seems to be what she was after, and I reach down for the mess of black hair the little shit keeps hidden under his hat.
And I stop mid-reach because I could swear that's not Ethan in front of me. Red would never be this pathetic or wasted but it looks too much like him not to be him. Cowlicked black hair there on his hands and knees with that slightly tanned skin and-
Oh Arceus. Oh hell with the world. Ethan looks exactly like Red did at his age, when we first...
I'm the one who feels like puking now, and I kick the little shit in the thigh before storming off, tearing my beer free from Leaf's hand to put it to my forehead again. It's not cold enough anymore. She's crying, or at least sounds like it, and when I look up Red is standing right there and he just looks disappointed. “Oh, suck my dick,” I snap, pushing past him. He doesn't follow me, instead he just sighs, and I'm glad Yellow wasn't around to see me beat up her boyfriend because then she'd be crying and I'd really feel like a douche.
“I don't care what it is as long as it's cold and strong,” I tell Pryce, and he doesn't look at me as he passes me a glass a moment later. I need a distraction, and I need something cold for my head, it's really starting to hurt. I should sit down some place where Leaf won't find me for a while. Red would find me no matter where I went. The kitchen seemed farthest from anything else that was going on so I headed that way, tripping into the big couch just in front of there when the coffee table got in my way.
My prayers are answered when a distraction found her way over to me. May had a couple less buttons done on her shirt than I remembered earlier, not that I'm complaining, and her hair is mostly down from the clip on the back of her head. “Green,” she giggles, stumbling over and sitting on the coffee table. The way she sits, her knees are nearly touching mine, pressed tightly together as she leans forward on them, her hips wiggling a little. “Did you really just beat the shit out of Ethan?”
I smirk, remembering I can actually drink the thing in my hand, and take a couple sips. “Yes, I fucking did,” I grin proudly, leaning back and letting my arms rest on the back of the couch. “Little shit had it coming.”
“Ohhhh that's amazing how you just got shit done,” she moans, licking her lips. “Fuck that's amazing.”
“Yeah, it kind of is.”
“Oh fuck why can't more men be like youuu,” she whines, leaning to one side a little as sleep seems to grab her for a second. “You're so sensitive but you're such a MAN.”
Leaf kept telling me I was drunk, but I'm not drunk. May's drunk. She's licking her lips like she's drunk, and she's twisting her hips like she's a horny drunk, and now she's playing with her hair like she's a drunk who just remembered there's a clip trying to hold onto her ponytail.
“Y'know I was really late to the party, riiight?” she sighs, blinking a few times as she stares at the clip, which she's now got on her fingers. “Well, I got this damn letter today, riiiight? And it's from Hoenn. And they want me to come do Pokeathlon stuff there, which is amazing, because it's like someone took the cool parts of battles and contests and they just smashed em all up together, riiiight?”
She's giggling now, and I think she's trying to stand up or something, because she keeps pushing against the table with one hand. I reach over to set my drink down and maybe help her, and she grabs my arm and squeezes hard.
“I wanna go do it, but I know when I tell Brendan he's just going to be a fucking bitch about it.” I'm sure he will be, but I really don't care so I don't know why she's telling me this. The way her thumb is rubbing my arm feels a little like something else though, and her words start being background noise. “He's just gonna whine about me leaving, and if I tell him to go with me he'll be all like 'No May, some of us have responsibilities' or whatever. Oh. My. God. It'll just be sooo annoying. I don't know why he can't just man up about it.”
I think that maybe he'd be able to man up better if she didn't have such a death grip on his balls. She's sounding pretty whiny herself right now, and frankly I just want her to shut up.
She licks her lips again, and I just stop caring, cutting her off mid-breath before she can manage any words by shoving my lips over hers. I've got my tongue in far enough to know she's got no tonsils by the time she finally lets go of my arm, running her hands up my legs instead, so I grab her by that messy hair of hers and drag her onto my lap.
She's not completely quiet, but moaning is definitely an improvement over her talking, and then I remember all that fight she's got in her and I grin at how she's putting it to good use on my tongue.
It doesn't take me more than a minute to have a hand in her shirt and for her to be rubbing on me through her tights, and damn this is the best I've felt all week.
That is, until Brendan shows up.
I don't even notice him at first, but I don't think he noticed us either until he was already roaring an inch above our heads. May goes so stiff with shock I have to grab her waist to keep her from falling off my lap.
They start arguing out of nowhere, seemingly oblivious to my role as May's chair, until she starts laughing so hard she's grinding on me on accident and I moan about it. Then I realize Brendan's looking at me, pointing at me even, and I realize he's probably wondering why I'm snogging his mistress.
I grinned, one hand finding its way back to May's ass. “Look man... I just needed a way to shut your woman up and I thought a kiss would do.”
She's struggling to keep herself on the couch in the next instant, Brendan's hand pushing her off my lap with ease, and in the next instant I'm on my feet but not of my own free will.
I realize that I've lost track of how many people I've kissed tonight as I taste yet another tongue forcing itself against mine, and I can't find it in me to react. Punching Brendan crosses my mind, but so does kissing him back.
I probably am drunk, but not as drunk as him. Maybe.
Brendan's grip on my collar is definitely not that of a pussy though, and I'm kind of regretting how much shit I've been giving him all day. Which I can only imagine is the whole point, unless he's suddenly sick of women.
Ironically, the first thing May says as soon as my ass lands on the couch again is, “My god Brendan, you really are a bitch!”
No, no he's not, I feel like telling her. She kisses like a bitch. Brendan kisses like Red does after a good battle. Brendan's not a bitch. Though he is talking like one, I'll give May that much. Not enough of one to warrant the way she just hit the floor laughing.
Brendan clearly agrees from the way his fist comes at my face. I sink into the couch with reflexes far beyond my sobriety level as his arm flies by and slams into one of Lance's damned dragonair statues. Goddamn the boy has huge hands, and I never noticed it before. His dad's pretty huge though, so I shouldn't be too surprised. I still am, though, shaking somewhat as I stare at the now deformed bronze statue to my left. “Holy shit...”
He doesn't even flinch. My own hand and ears hurt just from that impact but Brendan doesn't even seem to notice. He looks at me like he's just waiting for me to talk again, and for the first time all night I'm speechless, and motionless aside from one hand instinctively sliding to protect my nuts. My boner doesn't have a clue how to respond either; that kiss was fucking amazing and even more terrifying, and I get off on adrenaline anyway. Mt Silver does that to you. So my hand is protecting it and my nuts because if Brendan's anything like me he'll be punting me there any second now.
May stutters to life from the floor, and I realize the noise I've been hearing behind the ringing of my ears is called silence, in the absence of her hysterical laughter. She stutters his name in a way that just confuses my crotch more and I have to bite back a groan as I try really hard not to look at her.
“Shhhaddup sssssslut!” he hisses at her, and I burrow further into the cushions, not sure if I should dare try to leave or not. She gets about halfway to her feet before she's on her knees again, and I chance scooting a little closer to the edge of the couch, certain that one way or another I won't want to be here within the next two minutes. I feel sober enough suddenly to know how drunk I've been up till now, and I quietly grab my drink, freezing in place again when Brendan glares at me for a moment. I press the drink to my forehead to avoid his gaze, and in hopes the cold will help the sudden headache bearing down on me.
As I watch he drags her to her feet and chucks her over his shoulder with less effort than it took him to pick me up a moment ago. Brendan is crazy, I decide, like one of those drunken boxers or something. I make a mental note to avoid pissing him off, and chance looking up at him again.
He stops in his tracks, like he can feel my eyes on him, and snarls a death threat. Any trace of that boner is definitely gone, and I think my nuts are trying to hide too, after seeing the blood in that man's eyes. Then he carries her off over one shoulder, spanking her ass along the way, and given how he's taking the shortest path toward the ballroom's exit, there's no question of his intentions.
May is a lucky bitch.
I finally exhale once the door slams behind them, sliding so low on the couch that my ass is scarcely on it. I should stand up, once I start breathing right again.
Now that I don't have a boner anymore, I realize I haven't taken a leak all night and that I really need to. I drop what's left of my drink on the table and stagger to my feet in search of a bathroom, preferably one I don't have to pass anyone else to get to. The adrenaline's still in my system a bit, and it's giving me the sincere sensation I've been a dick all night and I really don't want to see anyone until I'm sure how much of one.
Damn't, I wanted tonight to be good, to make up for how much tomorrow's gonna suck. Not be an appetizer.
Sure enough, when I get out of the bathroom, Red's waiting there for me. I didn't see him on the way there, but that doesn't mean a whole lot with Red. He could find me still if I moved to the Millennium Comet, and he'd beat me to it some how.
I should ask him one of these days why, if he knows what I'm gonna do before I do it, he still lets me do it.
There's a palm across my face as I stare at him and I wince. It wasn't his, Red doesn't slap. He very seldom does anything violent, really. I look down and Leaf is there, holding her fist like she's thinking about punching me too.
Then she's crying, and I really feel like an ass. Except she never cries, so it's this stiff-faced, glaring cry where the tears just stream down her face, and she still looks beautiful even like that, but if I kiss her now she'll just get madder. I feel like asking if they saw me with May is stupid but I can't imagine this is just because I gave Ethan what he had coming.
Red takes a step forward and he has that look on his face. I'm not going to be walking right for the rest of the year. I try to apologize, but I never apologize for anything, and there's no point in it at this stage anyway.
So I just hug them both, because what else can I do? As far as they're concerned, I fucked up.
No, they're right. I fucked up.
I find a space between Leaf's crying face and Red's stern one, and say the last three words that ever come out of my mouth in public, but I mean them more now than ever before. The way their arms tighten around me tells me they know I mean it.
“I'm sorry, guys.”
Leaf asks if we can go home, and Red just nods, and they both feel so small in my arms but it's over now and I've got to figure out how to make it up to Yellow, too.
I mean, it wasn't his fault that his woman was such a man. Not totally, at least. So maybe it'd been rude of me to call her his Mistress. They didn't seem like they were into that kind of thing, anyway. Not that it was any of my business. Maybe they are, given how annoyed he seemed when I said it.
Whatever. That's his problem, and right now, I'm in no position to judge anyone else's relationship or sex life. Not until after I finish explaining to grandpa what the hell is up with mine.
Ugh. Grandpa. Tomorrow's gonna be a pain in the ass. Hopefully not literally, I don't think grandpa will pull out the belt with Agatha around. Then again, I didn't think he would anymore after I turned 18, but given last month, 19 still isn't old enough for him to stop treating me like a child. “Under his roof” and all that. Fuck that old fashioned codger... He ain't married to Agatha... But that's probably just some kind of “honoring grandma” thing in his head....
I need to stop thinking about this crap. Probably because all that's left in my glass is ice and vaguely lime-flavored water. Blaine's a shitty bartender. Too much ice in all the drinks all night, but they're free, so I guess I can't complain too much.
The stools are nice at least. Lance has good taste, comfort-wise. Everything's fucking tacky and over the top, but it's comfortable. Third time tonight I've been on these stools, dunno why I'm bothering getting up between them. I guess I'm just waiting for Red to show up, and that's why I keep getting up to look for him. Leaf got here about an hour ago, and she's fretting around for him too, when she's not being all motherly with fixing the other girls' hair. She's been trapped in a house with a bunch of coordinators too long by now. She never used to care about her appearance further than her hat being on forward and her skirt covering her ass. I used to be able to get away with telling her it was when it wasn't, too. Not that all the skin conditioners and stuff the other girls have talked her into haven't made her even more beautiful, just that I liked rough-around-the-edges Leaf. Being all tomboyish and worldly and looking like she'd been out on the road, tan lines and everything, suited her.
But she wasn't on the road anymore. Neither was I. I was rooted down on this damn Plateau for over a year now, same with her, same with Red. Rooted to the gym for four years now.
“Four years? Really?” It wasn't something to be saying out loud, but damn't, had I really spent half my career as a trainer attached to that damn gym in Viridian? No, not half. More than that. It'd only been seven years since I left Pallet the first time...
Maybe I'll go climb the mountain. Getting dirt under my nails sounds perfect right now. I'll grab Red, maybe Leaf too if she hasn't pansied out too much for an adventure, we'll go climb the mountain, spend Christmas up there, just like the old days. Dirt everywhere, freezing our asses off, forgetting to come out from under the blankets for days at a time. Just like that first winter when I ran away from the gym. Yeah, that'd be way better than dinner at grandpa's...
“Yeah, it's been about that long, hasn't it?”
I didn't mean for anyone to hear me. It's one of those big burly gym leaders from one of the other regions. They all look like Bruno, so I can't keep them straight, and he's sitting on a chair so I can't tell how tall he is. I think he's called Chuck.
“They pick 'em young these days,” he muses, so I figure it's gotta be Chuck, the others are all too young to be talking like that. “I don't think I even had eight badges when I was your age. But I finished school first.”
I'm laughing and I'm not sure why, but Blaine's put another drink down in front of me so the liquor probably has something to do with it. Maybe it's just the thought of these muscle-heads with a diploma. “Never said I did too well, just said I finished it,” he adds, and so I stop laughing. No sense in being rude to my elders.
He's talking like he's got more drinks in him than I do, so I don't know how seriously to take him when he starts talking about the award I won. “Most Gym Battles Won”. Third year in a row. Apparently it's not meant to be an honorable award, even if there is a little plaque that goes with it. Apparently it's meant to be my cue to go a bit easier on challengers next year.
I frown as I remember my upcoming battle with Yellow. She wasn't ready to go battle the Elite Four. I can't go easy on people like her. People like Ethan. Any of them. Yeah, I'm supposed to scale myself a bit, at least, but I can't give badges out for free like Misty...
“It's just because I don't stick to one type, so people can't go all cheap type advantage on me.”
Bru-I mean, Chuck looks hurt at that. “Well, all the more reason for what I was going to suggest.” He's being really careful with his words, like he's trying to talk down to me. It's annoying, and my glass is getting low again. I rub my eyebrow and then look at him expectantly, waiting for him to issue this famous suggestion of his.
“You're good, kid. I think you need to go get into the Elite Four, instead of being a Gym Leader.”
“Could. Don't want to.”
“Why not?”
“Gym's closer to home.” That's why I chose that damned building anyway, despite it being ugly. It's not even an hour's bike ride from grandpa's lab.
“Really? Because I heard you've been living here in Indigo for over a year now.”
“Where'd ya hear that?” I slam my drink down, forgetting it's got anything in it, and curse as I feel it splash over onto my hand. I'll tell Blaine to make the next one frozen.
“That pretty little thing of yours.”
Takes me a second to realize he means Leaf. I rub my eyebrow again, this time with the cold glass, which feels better than my hand. “Yeah, guess I have.” Pallet still seems to be home even though I've been up here this long. A little less so, when I think about the belt waiting for me there, and when I realize Daisy's been gone since before I've been a leader. When I remember she and that jerkwad reproduced and now I'll be meeting little Sammy for the first time tomorrow.
I set my glass back down, staring at the ice cubes, before I manage to sigh and look back up at this guy. He doesn't look like he should be wearing a suit. I pull it off way better than him. “...You're probably right. None of this stupid scaling nonsense in being on the Four...” I mutter, squinting a bit and letting my eyes drift around the room. “Pays well too, if Lance is any evidence.” This place is stacked, and the whole condo I've been renting with those other idiots could probably fit in this ballroom.
“He's been there a long time, but I'm sure it does.”
“I have to beat one of them out, right?”
“That's most of it.”
Agatha'd be the easy answer. I have no shame in beating an old woman. But she stepped down a couple years ago, so she's not an option. I'd say Bruno, but he's been in the Elite Four as long as I've been alive, I think. Karen... I was going to need a couple more drinks to even think about dealing with that piece of work again. I was sure she was here at the party, too, but saying that was like saying Cynthia was at the party, it hadn't mattered since the media left around 6:30. Koga was scary in his own way, but I can beat him, easy, too, I'm sure. But something about that lacked satisfaction. I'd beaten him years before, when he was just a gym leader, after all.
“Just”, I was thinking about my own position.
“If you see Lance before I do, tell him his days of luxury are numbered,” I tell the guy, then stand up. Now I had something to do until Red showed up.
I ran into Leaf before I made it five steps from the bar. “I see you and May haven't found each other yet,” she teased, kissing me quickly, and I just rolled my eyes, putting my empty hand around her waist.
“Why is that the first thing everyone says to me?” You get drunk enough to make out with someone you're not with once and people hold it against you for years. Okay, twice. I still didn't believe anyone that it had happened again at Halloween this year, because I didn't remember it. But maybe that was why Brendan had asked me if I'd seen her. “Is she even here? Brendan's looking for her.”
Leaf shakes her head, smiling politely as Pryce walks by, giving us a wave. It's strange to see anyone still so put together against the otherwise drunken atmosphere the party's already taken, but he's always been a gentleman. Leaf and I probably look fairly proper at the moment too, aside from the silly Santa hat she'd put on. Both of us wore formal wear well, unlike Red who'll probably show up in jeans. He just isn't Red any other way though.
I saw Ethan was following suit and, while he was otherwise wearing something that I was pretty sure wasn't actually his, he still had his baseball cap on. I'd call it stupid, but I promised Leaf I wouldn't pick on him or Barry tonight. Even if they did make it easy.
“Haven't seen her yet. Red either.” Her voice is so hushed and proper I can barely hear it over the music. I kiss her forehead, surveying the room over her hat in search of any of my targets. I made no promises about harassing future ex-Elite Four members. “We should dance,” she says with a giggle, and I nod a little, not really thinking about what she's saying, even as her fingers rest on my shoulder.
“We should,” I agree, catching a flash of red from the corner of my eye. “Later.” Another quick kiss and I'm halfway across the ballroom. I've got to grab Lance before anyone else can, or at least anyone I can't interrupt.
“You,” I announce, striding up between him and the statue he was posing with. He's got at least a dozen Dragon sculptures around the room, and this one's his new one, some pokemon I only recognize because Cheren knows everything about every gym leader in Unova. I doubt Lance has seen one in person.
“Green! So glad you could make it! I thought you'd be back in Pallet with your family.” Everything about him is so boisterous that I'm sure Wallace is cowering in shame somewhere in the room, and this guy wouldn't know coordinating if it poured glitter down his cape.
“Whatever,” I grunt. “I'll be welcoming you next year.”
“Oh? Is Red hosting?”
He isn't even looking at me. Or at the wine glass he's holding. “No, I will be. From this very room.”
I don't know what about him gets me so pissed off. I think it's the cape, or maybe it's just the whole dragon trainer thing in general. Claire gets me fired up the same way, except I actually did punch her in the face once. I was 13, so I don't think she'd even know it was me by now, but I'm not going to ask her.
And right now Lance is giving me the kind of pretentious look that makes me feel completely justified in wanting to challenge him right here and now. If I'd brought anyone besides Eevee with me, I would, but they always televise these things so even if I tried, they'd make me wait. “How will you be hosting from my mansion?”
“It'll be mine. I'm taking you down, Lance,” I growl, a grin on my mouth as I remember the twice before I've beaten the son of a bitch. “I'm taking your position, and your mansion, and even your cape. But you can keep your statues.”
I realize I'm pointing at him with my finger only an inch from his chest, and then I realize that part of why he and Claire piss me off is because they're taller than me, and that's just obnoxious. Palmer's usually the only one taller than me at these shindigs, ever since I hit six foot, and he's from Unova to begin with so he's got an excuse. I put my finger down before anyone can start staring at me, adjusting my tie as I try to regain my composure. “Nothing personal, of course. I'm just sick of the Gym life.”
He shrugs, and the hint of alarm that stays in his eyes as he looks across the room brings another surge of adrenaline to my chest. I can taste victory already. “Understandable. I fled from that drudgery the first chance I got, years ago.”
He's trying to be conversational, but I've got him nervous now. Damn, why didn't I bring my pokeballs with me?
Then there's a flash of blonde behind him, and as he continues talking, I notice Yellow's here and she's looking absolutely adorable in the dress Brendan made for her, with Chuchu clinging to her shoulder still. I smile past Lance, waiting for him to take a breath so I can blow him off and go pester our sister properly.
Then I realize where she's heading, in a slow motion sort of way that doesn't really register until I take another sip of my drink. Ethan's somewhere over there, which I suppose is better than the two hours she spent talking to Wally at Halloween, but it's still Ethan. But maybe she's just saying hi to him, or asking him where I'm at – after all, Lucas and Brendan are standing around the same table. Maybe she's trying to talk to one of them instead. Lucas is a nice kid; I don't care if she talks to him.
I watch her just in case any of them try anything stupid. Red doesn't seem to be watching her, so one of us needs to be.
And what I manage to watch is her tapping that little shit on the shoulder, kissing him on the cheek, and skipping off.
“Hold this,” I command Lance, cutting him off as I shove my drink into his gesturing hand. I need to go scold our little sister for doing something so stupid. After I beat some sense into Ethan for letting it happen. “That little shit... Yellow's way too good for him,” I snarl, snaking my way through the crowd toward him.
Then the person in front of me won't move, and I look down to realize it's Leaf, and she's sidestepping into my path each time I try to move.
“No,” she snaps before I can even open my mouth, her hands on my shoulders.
I scowl at her, wondering why she always sides with letting Yellow do something stupid. “You don't even know what I'm gonna do.”
“I know it's going to be very unpleasant for a boy that's suddenly having a very wonderful night.”
“As it should be!” Somehow she was missing that the entire point of this was to make Ethan very, very miserable. “He touched Yellow!” That completely voided any “not picking on him” deals I'd made with her.
“Please don't be like that. Ethan didn't do anything.” She's giving me that puppy eyed look. It hasn't worked since we were seven, except maybe for when she wants me to go down on her, and somehow I doubt that's the case right now so it's pointless.
“Yet.” How she could be so blind as to not realize Ethan would be doing all sorts of horrible things to Yellow within the hour if I didn't stop him right now was beyond me. I try to tell her as much, but then she's kissing me, and damn that girl can kiss, and I remember that if Yellow is here, Red must be too, and that means kisses from him too. And besides, the music's actually fairly pretty, so I can dance with my girlfriend for a while. I promised her earlier, anyway. But I'm going to keep a watch on Ethan, in case he goes near Yellow again, and as soon as Leaf forgets she's supposed to be distracting me, I'm going to go smack sense into both of them.
A couple songs later, she's still got me snared, but that girl's fingers are magic on my shoulders so I'll let her keep me here a bit longer. Lucas is the only one still at that table now, and I think he's asleep, but Yellow had hold of Red's shirt last I saw her, so she's safe for now. One more song can't hurt.
Leaf's been nuzzling my neck for a bit now, and she starts talking quietly enough I have to concentrate to hear her over the music. “It's so nice to have a night off, where we don't have to worry about anything.”
A night off? I laugh. She tries to tell me she's serious, but I don't know how she could be. Even tonight I'm still on my guard; watching for challengers, planning my battle against Lance, keeping boys' filthy hands off our little sister. It's true that I had a whole week of not needing to go to the gym ahead of me, but those trips to and from weren't so bad, flying the hour each way on Pidgeot was pretty sweet, when the weather was nice. But that was one week out of 52, and Red technically didn't even have that week off, though people got all the way to challenging him so rarely that his job was mostly publicity. It was no wonder he'd developed a variant of the Cynthia personality over the last seven years, with people challenging him all the time.
“...So that's it,” I thought aloud as realization rained down on me. “That's why you're so laid back about everything.”
Leaf pulls her head back a bit, raising an eyebrow at me. “What?” she asks, and I just shake my head and laugh.
“That's why you don't get it. Because you don't have all the responsibility that Red and I do.” I pull the santa hat off of her head, because Arceus she looks stupid with it on, and smooth down her hair as she starts trying to grab it from my hand.
“I don't because I choose not to. I still have other things I have to do; I just don't do them in the public eye.”
Oh, silly woman. Thinking whatever it was she did all day was as hard as the constant training and battling Red and I went through. But she didn't know any better, did she? She'd stopped with her badges, never done anything with them. So of course she doesn't know how hard it is.
I put on the hat to keep it from her, then grab her hands for extra insurance. The logical conclusion is forming in my head, and I smile broadly as it surfaces fully, giving her hands a good squeeze. “It's okay sweetheart,” I coo, nuzzling our foreheads together. “I know you just haven't experienced responsibility on the same level as us guys. But I'll fix that for you, very soon. Then you'll never be so bored as to worry like this, and you'll understand why we have to guard Yellow so well, too. I'm sure of it.”
She's trying really hard to look venomous, but instead she just looks adorable. I'm so tempted to pick her up and just do awful things to her right now, but that might get me booted from the league, so I won't. “What,” she says, completely deadpan, and I just smile wider. Of course she wouldn't realize the easy answer like I did.
I scoop one hand beneath her chin, holding her eyes up to look into mine while I announce my brilliant plan. “I'm going to knock you up, so you can have some responsibility too. Then you'll understand the kind of stress Red and I have to go through every day, I'm sure.”
It's perfect, and as a bonus, it means sex and it means getting the Oak genetics passed down before grandpa flips out more. Sammy may be born from our tree, but he's not an Oak by name, so grandpa's starting to get antsy about leaving a legacy. I let go of Leaf's other hand and press my palm to her stomach. It's just barely got a curve to it, same as always, and I think about how it'd look swelled up. She'd have to tie her hair back, or maybe cut it, but the look would suit Leaf well, doubly so if she put on an apron. Her breasts would get bigger too, and while there was a lot about women to dislike, a proper pair of knockers weren't on that list. “Yeah, I'm gonna fill this belly full of babies.” The more I think about it, the better the idea sounds, and the more I like rubbing my hand along her stomach.
“G-Green, how much have you had to drink tonight?”
There she goes, trying to change the subject again. I roll my eyes, letting go of her chin, though my other hand keeps playing on her belly for the moment. “Not enough to forget about the beatings I owe Lance and Ethan,” I answer honestly. She starts to ask me why I owe one to Lance, then suddenly stops to slap my hand away from her stomach. It kind of hurts, but now I'm thirsty again so I really don't care. “Lance has my drink,” I remember, and I hear her sigh, but before she can tell me why she's getting so huffy, not that I wanted to know, I realize Yellow has disappeared from behind Reddy-teddy.
“...Shit.” I can't see where Ethan is either, so I'm sure he's trying to talk her out of her dress somewhere, that little perv, and that is one image I'm already regretting letting come to mind. “I need to find her before he does.”
“Why? Before who does?”
Oh, right, I was dancing with Leaf. The planning of the next generation of Oaks will have to wait a couple more hours though, because I need to go prevent there ever being another Gold. “Wait here, my love,” I insist to Leaf, placing a finger over her lips. “You've got to have patience, I'm sorry. I'll be back for you.”
She apparently just can't wait though, since she grabs hold of my jacket sleeve rather tightly, her voice showing fatigue as she asks again where I'm going. “I have to explain to Yellow that boys are disgusting creatures who must never be trusted,” I tell her again, and she gives me a sigh that I know is probably questioning how I can believe such a thing about my own gender. But even I'm awful, wanting so badly to pin Leaf to a wall in this very room. Red is the only man who can be trusted, and Yellow needs to know that much.
I see a flash of blonde through a window, and I release my darling girlfriend, setting out at full speed toward the nearest door. It only takes an extra few steps to grab my beverage back from Lance, and then I'm to the door before I realize it's not actually mine, and that whatever he's been drinking, it's stronger and less fruity than my mai tais. It'll do for now, because I'm already out in the cold now and I'm not going back in until after I find our little sister.
But there's another blond at this party, and the one I saw out here is definitely not that sweetheart. It's Barry, and for some probably stupid reason the skinny bastard is out here, in a foot of snow, in nothing but his boxers. He's jogging, and I ask him how much he's had to drink, and he marches in place as he tells me he doesn't drink.
“So you're just crazy then? Out here, damn near naked, in this weather?”
“I lost a bet,” he tells me, and I sigh.
“This is no way to act if you're serious about wanting to become Sinnoh's champion,” I warn him, coughing when I forget again what's in my glass and gulp too much at once. “The media goes crazy over this sort of thing.”
I realize the boxers he's got on have little red-nosed, santa hat wearing Shaymin all over them, and as I adjust the hat I forgot I had on, I tell him that at least those are good ones to show up in the tabloids in.
“Thanks, Dawn gave me them,” he smiled proudly, and I don't know whether to be happy for him that he's obviously finally getting laid or sorry for him for hooking up with a coordinator.
I settle on, “Damn,” before I remember I was telling him not to be running around out here in his underwear, and I repeat that part.
“Well, the bet was over a battle,” he adds, rubbing his arms. Poor kid, the cold's starting to get to him, though I guess growing up in Sinnoh made this September weather, not December weather, unless that was just Snowpoint. Red could probably stand out here in his boxers all night and barely shiver, too, or at least all those nights on Mt Silver felt about like that.
“So this is your penalty for losing the battle?”
“This was the backup penalty,” he admitted sheepishly. “The original penalty carried far more dishonor.”
So he had the sense not to be completely naked, at least. That was good. “You can't be losing like that,” I drawled, sipping my drink. “We should battle, when I get back from Pallet. Get you more practice.”
“Oh wow, that'd be amazing!” he shivered, puffing air into his hands. “But... for now, you think I can go back to jogging? I have three more laps to go.”
“Oh, right.” I nod, putting my hands into my pockets. Kid has guts at least. Follow-through. Good traits in a champion.
Traits Ethan was horribly lacking, which I still needed to warn Yellow about. He wouldn't care about honor.
I head back inside, leaving the little ritalin poster child to continue his running, letting the door slam behind me. Another flash of blond, but I can tell that's not Yellow, it looks too much like the last one I dealt with. I long for the days when the only blond other than her were a couple gym leaders, then I remember this is the first year she's been allowed to any of the parties. No wonder I don't remember defending her from anyone but Wally before now.
Huh, maybe that's where she went. He's smart enough not to touch her after the crushing I gave him when he talked to her at Halloween, but they're close to the same age so I bet she's talking to him again. Or maybe to those creepy twins from Hoenn, they're around her age too.
Leaf's waiting for me inside though. She's talking to May, who finally decided to show up, though it looks like she forgot pants because I swear she's wearing one of Brendan's shirts and some pantyhose. Something like that. The color looks good on her though, and from the right angle I can see her bra through the gaps between her buttons. She wobbles like she's drunk already as she sets her head onto Leaf's shoulder, letting out an exaggerated laugh. Her makeup is smeared, too, and I'd think she's been crying except she wipes her eyes as she stands back up, and there's a black stripe on her hand too, so that's probably why. She must be angry, I've only ever seen her drunk like this before when she's been mad, but then again I told Brendan earlier that she's always mad, didn't I?
Leaf gently pushes her away, pointing toward another corner of the room, and May heads off in that direction, but glances back at me for a moment and I swear she looks hungry when she does.
Damn. I usually don't go for women anymore, but she's got so much fight in her that I-
My girlfriend's lips are on my cheek, and I rub it afterward, because it was just too wet. “What?” I ask, and she just sighs.
“Don't do it again.”
“Do what?” I raise my hand to take a drink, but the glass of whatever Lance had is empty. If Blaine's still bartending, I'll just get back there and make something for myself. “You seen Reddy-teddy anywhere?”
She laughs through her nose, which means she doesn't want me to know she's laughing. “Don't call him that, and he's with Yellow.”
“I can call my Reddy-teddy whatever I want.” Right, the glass is empty. I keep forgetting. “Good that she's with him. Where's Ethan.”
“I don't know.” She tries not to look at where the little shit is, but I follow her gaze before she can move it.
“I win,” I tell her, pushing my empty glass into her hand. But Ethan's got Lyra hovering a couple inches from him on one side, and some older woman talking to them both, and she looks important so I'll avoid interrupting, don't need to make myself look bad. I'll just keep track of him, and get that next drink in the mean time.
Blaine's gone missing, and Pryce looks at me like he's not going to serve me anything, so I just lean over the counter and grab a glass the first time he walks away. “I'm legal, you can't cut me off. Besides, I ain't driving,” I remind him once I realize the glass is just ice, and he begrudgingly pours something that smells like paint thinner in my glass. I steal a couple of cherries as long as I'm leaning over that far, popping one in my mouth as I stand back up. The sweetness makes the vodka easier to handle, so I keep that one in my mouth while I sip my drink, playing with the stem.
I should find Reddy-teddy and feed him the other one. He smiles when he's drunk, and he's cuter when he smiles. But he hates stuff this strong.
I find him sitting in a corner, on a couch with Yellow. All our pokemon are there with them, including Iggy who is up way past his bedtime and I tell them so as greeting. Eevee looks up at me from the coffee table, yipping, then goes back to sniffing one of the empty bottles someone's left on it. He looks half perplexed and half intrigued, and I laugh at the thought of him getting drunk too.
Then there are arms around my waist and a muffled squeal of “Green-niii-channnn” in my chest and I laugh as I pat her on the head, careful not to mess up the curls either Dawn or Red's mom did for her.
“Look how pretty my dress is!” she chirps, spinning. “Brendan did a great job, didn't he?”
Yeah, that bitch can sew, that's for sure. I smirk and nod, walking over to sit down onto Reddy-teddy's lap. I offer him the other cherry from my drink, and he shakes his head, holding up his own barely-touched pink concoction that's probably a strawberry daiquiri. He loves strawberry. So does Yellow and she's got a kid's version sitting on the table between the bottles. Iggy and I lock eyes for a second as I catch him pulling the little plastic sword out of her drink, then he floats off with it before I can tell him to put it back.
Yellow's still trying to talk to me, and she's adorable so I should pay attention, but I'm busy worrying her dress is too short. It barely reaches her knees. She's only 13, she shouldn't be dressed like that. Damn that Brendan. But she's got tights on so whatever, at least she won't freeze.
“And Dawn did my hair but it took soooooo long and it made it smell burny a couple of times but watch!” she grabs one corkscrew and pulled on it, only for it to spring back into position, and giggled. “Cool, huh?”
She keeps finding excuses to turn around, and I realize she's probably looking for that little shit, and sigh. “Yellow, your brother and I need to have a talk with you,” I announced, patting my lap. Red scowled at me a little, probably because it shook him and he was having to hold his drink really carefully. I decide it'd be mean to have us both sitting on him, so I slide off, sitting down a foot away and patting the couch between us instead. Yellow bounds over and hops into my lap, flopping over so her head's laying on Red's.
She's so adorable I could just hug her forever. I should go castrate Ethan after this.
Red gives me a look that says he has no idea what we're talking to her about, and I sigh again. “I need you to listen very carefully, Yellow,” I tell her, and she nods, sitting back up and staring at me intently. “This is probably the most important thing I have EVER told you.”
She nods again, eyes wide. Chuchu is now sitting on her lap, looking at me expectantly too. That's fine, I doubt Pikachu has ever had this talk with her, so she should listen, too.
“Boys are awful creatures.”
She starts giggling, and I stare at her until she calms down. She needs to actually listen, but she's not taking me seriously.
“I mean it, Yellow. You need to stay away from them. They are horrible, awful creatures who will give you cooties.”
“Green-nii-chan, cooties don't exist. Don't be so silly.” She's covering her mouth as she giggles, and I realize someone's gone and put makeup on my darling sister. It's just something glittery on her eyelids, but she's still about 10 years too young for that sort of thing. I lick my thumb and reach for her face to try and rub it off, and she squeaks, leaning away from my hand.
“Hold still,” I grunt. It's hard enough to do this without poking her in the eye without her squirming.
“Nooooo I don't want your slobber on my face! Grooossss!”
I frown. She understands the cooties thing after all, at least, but she's still got makeup on. “Then promise me you're not going to even think about touching any boys.”
“I don't want to touch any boys,” she assures me. She's blushing a little though, and I noticed her lips were glittery too. She has lip gloss on. She had lip gloss on when she kissed that little shit on the cheek. Castration would be going easy on him at this stage.
“Or talk to them or even LOOK at them,” I growl, staring her in the eyes. She looks a little scared, but that was okay, she should be scared to do anything with boys except kick their asses at pokemon.
“Nii-samaaaa,” she whines, crawling quickly out of my lap and into his, then a little behind him. Chuchu's nowhere to be seen either, though Pikachu's looking a little sparky as he stares at me. “Nii-chan's being scary.” She ducked her face behind his shoulder, and I feel bad for making her scared of me, but she needs to know that her brother is the only guy in the world who's not an awful, awful man. Her real brother at that. I'm no better, with the awful things I do to him...
I stand up, remembering that I need to go do a whole different kind of awful to Ethan. Just scaring him won't work like it did on Wally, I need to actually hurt him for it to get through his dense skull that he needs to stay away from Yellow. I kiss Red on the lips and Yellow on the forehead and pick Eevee up by the scruff and put him on my shoulder. There's a couple unopened beers on the table and I take one of those too.
I don't see Lyra over where Ethan was before, but that means I might have lost track of the little shit entirely. I head that way anyway, holding the not-cold-enough bottle to my brow as I walk. Eevee asks something about what we're doing, but I'm too annoyed to try and understand a pokemon right now, so I ignore him.
Damn't, Ethan's gone. I should have just stayed with Reddy-teddy and gotten some quality time in. Maybe it's not too late to find Dawn or something and make her watch Yellow so we can sneak off early. Chances are good I'm not getting any for the rest of the year if I don't tonight, grandpa'll make sure of that. This is Leaf's fault; it was her idea for us to spend the week off back in Pallet instead of holed up in Red's room like a good couple... thing... should be. But their parents took the whole thing well, not like grandpa, so of course they were fine with going back to town. They weren't the ones who got caught with their dick out.
Some Elite Four douche from one of the other regions is leaning against the wall where Ethan had been before. I'm starting to think the little shit was avoiding me on purpose. Maybe he did have a brain after all. The guy smirks at me knowingly, raising an eyebrow. He's kind of cute, in a way that makes him look younger than his height suggests. I smirk back, thinking he'd probably be good prey if I wasn't committed. I'd mess with him a bit, just to show him I don't back down from challenges, but Red's probably still watching and he gets mad when I start sticking my hands in other people's pockets. Maybe I should anyway. He's fun when he's jealous.
I'll talk to him, that can't hurt in either direction. If I lean against the wall by him, I'll have a good view of wherever that little shit's run off to. Bonus.
“Name's Aaron,” he says conversationally as I stand a couple inches from him. His drink doesn't look alcoholic, on closer inspection, and suddenly I worry he really is as young as he looks.
“Green Oak,” I answer.
“Like the Professor? He your dad?”
“No, grandfather,” I wince. I had this discussion about once a month, and it always made my head hurt.
“No way. He doesn't look old enough to have a grandson.”
“He's over 60,” I answer. Aaron continues to look surprised, and I don't know whether to curse or love those genes. “Gym Leader,” I explain, pointing to my chest with my thumb. The guy nods, reaching up to scratch Eevee on the head. He purrs politely, even though he hates it when people touch his ears.
“Elite Four. Sinnoh.”
Well no fucking wonder, then. By now I'm fully convinced that the whole country's made of fags, since they managed to invent Coordinating. Don't tell the fangirls that though; I realize now I recognize this guy from some magazine covers, and just like Wallace, teenage girls just eat him up, oblivious to his sexuality. “I'm going for Elite Four this year,” I boast, trying not to think about it. At least now I remember he's not that young, and I feel like less of a creep. “Maybe soon I'll be on magazine covers too.”
“You've seen me then?” he smirks, and I realize the advantages of him being sober are that he doesn't reek of booze, and that he's not saying things out loud he only meant to think.
“Sometimes. Maybe I'll see you later, too,” I chuckle, pushing away from the wall. Eevee's starting to dig his claws into my shoulder, which means he wants to go, and I should find Reddy-teddy and get him another drink. The boy needs to smile. God he's hot when he smiles.
Leaf seems to think I'm misbehaving because she's waiting for me again, and before she can start on whatever she's gonna start on I grab her by the ass and shoulder and dip her into a kiss like I should have two hours earlier. She tastes like that cherry lip gloss of hers I love so much, then I stand her upright and rub her belly again. “Grandpa will forgive me if I tell him I'm knocking you up,” I whisper, laughing and kissing her again, though she pulls back out of that one.
“You've had too much to drink,” she assures me, grabbing at my beer. Her cheeks are red, and it's cute.
“You can't have it.” I hold it above her head, switching hands when she gets on her tippy toes to grab at it.
“Baby, it's embarrassing.” She's pouting at me again. Those lips could be doing a thousand better things right now, and I tell her so, but she doesn't laugh with me, she just blushes more and looks away.
I use my free hand to pick Eevee up off my shoulder and put him onto hers, then pat them both on the head. “Don't be sad,” I tell her, “it's Christmas! Love is in the air.”
“You're drunk,” she repeats, and I think it's just adorable how she thinks she's right when she's not.
“Go keep Red company.” I pat her on the ass again, trying to push her toward them, then grab her wrist to stop her. “Wait, no. Go find someone to entertain Yellow for the night. A girl someone.” I frown as that still sounds awful, and I realize maybe I'll have to explain to Yellow why girls are bad, too. “A friend.”
She gives me a disgusted look, like she doesn't want me to bone her later or something, and I just laugh, because she's so cute when she's trying that hard. I lean to kiss her again but only reach her cheek before she walks away, mumbling something about me being on my own.
Well that's just fine, because I just spotted Ethan, and if she's gone then she can't stop me from wringing his neck. He's got his back to me, so there's no way in hell he'll escape me this time.
Lance is with him, too. All the better. I can trash him some more when I'm done with the little shit.
“Fffucknut!” I shout, the side of my fist colliding with his stupid hat, knocking him forward. He stumbles forward, yelping in pain, and when I look up, Lance doesn't seem to be sure if he should be thanking me or helping Ethan. “'Scuse us a minute,” I tell the bastard, grabbing Ethan by the back of his sweater vest and dragging him a few feet away from the crowd. “But you're next, so don't you fucking move!” I call back at him. He'll move, I'm sure, but he was warned so it gives me more reason to smash his face in with one of his damn statues.
To my alarm, Ethan's pants fall around his ankles as I jerk him along, and I realize they're undone. His underwear is still on, at least, though the boxerbriefs outline him better than I ever needed to see. The look of alarm that Lance had worn flashes across my mind, and Ethan is chuckling, his voice slurred. I don't remember punching him in the jaw so he must be drunk. “You challen'gin me too, Green?” he hiccups, giggling. “Of curse a fag-get like youuuu would wanna see the PERFECT body uh Ethan.” His laughter was painfully loud, matching most of his words, and I felt my face flush in a combination of anger and frustration over the dumbshit's rambling.
“Why you...” I growl, backhanding him. I swear I hear someone telling me to stop, but I'm sure it's just Leaf being stupid about this again, so I let go of Ethan's collar and knock his ankles out from under him at the same time. It doesn't take much, as wasted as he is, so now he's on his hands and knees and he's coughing but still laughing. I have no idea how to punish him for this bullshit, and I'm not even sure what he did to begin with because now this is just personal.
“Fucknut, I'll faggot you,” I snarl. I want to kick him in the balls but he's got his legs together so I can't easily. There's a scraping sound as his belt buckle clatters on the floor as he tries to get his feet under him, and I grin.
He'd get the belt, just like grandpa did to me. Revenge would be amazing.
Leaf is shouting “what the hell?” from behind me as I start to rip my belt off, and I'm sure with Ethan's pants down this must look like something entirely different. I fold the leather in half and just miss the little shit's ass with it, hitting his back instead. He starts cursing at me and scrambling to get up, and his hat goes tumbling off while Leaf is grabbing my arm. I let her pull my drink away, that's what she's been trying to do all night so that should get her off of me. But it doesn't for some reason. I manage to smack Ethan again, and now he's shaking and coughing, and on one hand I've got the bastard where I want him and on the other hand he's probably going to puke all over the carpet and the carpet's gonna be mine in a few weeks so I can't have that.
So I let Leaf take the belt too, since that seems to be what she was after, and I reach down for the mess of black hair the little shit keeps hidden under his hat.
And I stop mid-reach because I could swear that's not Ethan in front of me. Red would never be this pathetic or wasted but it looks too much like him not to be him. Cowlicked black hair there on his hands and knees with that slightly tanned skin and-
Oh Arceus. Oh hell with the world. Ethan looks exactly like Red did at his age, when we first...
I'm the one who feels like puking now, and I kick the little shit in the thigh before storming off, tearing my beer free from Leaf's hand to put it to my forehead again. It's not cold enough anymore. She's crying, or at least sounds like it, and when I look up Red is standing right there and he just looks disappointed. “Oh, suck my dick,” I snap, pushing past him. He doesn't follow me, instead he just sighs, and I'm glad Yellow wasn't around to see me beat up her boyfriend because then she'd be crying and I'd really feel like a douche.
“I don't care what it is as long as it's cold and strong,” I tell Pryce, and he doesn't look at me as he passes me a glass a moment later. I need a distraction, and I need something cold for my head, it's really starting to hurt. I should sit down some place where Leaf won't find me for a while. Red would find me no matter where I went. The kitchen seemed farthest from anything else that was going on so I headed that way, tripping into the big couch just in front of there when the coffee table got in my way.
My prayers are answered when a distraction found her way over to me. May had a couple less buttons done on her shirt than I remembered earlier, not that I'm complaining, and her hair is mostly down from the clip on the back of her head. “Green,” she giggles, stumbling over and sitting on the coffee table. The way she sits, her knees are nearly touching mine, pressed tightly together as she leans forward on them, her hips wiggling a little. “Did you really just beat the shit out of Ethan?”
I smirk, remembering I can actually drink the thing in my hand, and take a couple sips. “Yes, I fucking did,” I grin proudly, leaning back and letting my arms rest on the back of the couch. “Little shit had it coming.”
“Ohhhh that's amazing how you just got shit done,” she moans, licking her lips. “Fuck that's amazing.”
“Yeah, it kind of is.”
“Oh fuck why can't more men be like youuu,” she whines, leaning to one side a little as sleep seems to grab her for a second. “You're so sensitive but you're such a MAN.”
Leaf kept telling me I was drunk, but I'm not drunk. May's drunk. She's licking her lips like she's drunk, and she's twisting her hips like she's a horny drunk, and now she's playing with her hair like she's a drunk who just remembered there's a clip trying to hold onto her ponytail.
“Y'know I was really late to the party, riiight?” she sighs, blinking a few times as she stares at the clip, which she's now got on her fingers. “Well, I got this damn letter today, riiiight? And it's from Hoenn. And they want me to come do Pokeathlon stuff there, which is amazing, because it's like someone took the cool parts of battles and contests and they just smashed em all up together, riiiight?”
She's giggling now, and I think she's trying to stand up or something, because she keeps pushing against the table with one hand. I reach over to set my drink down and maybe help her, and she grabs my arm and squeezes hard.
“I wanna go do it, but I know when I tell Brendan he's just going to be a fucking bitch about it.” I'm sure he will be, but I really don't care so I don't know why she's telling me this. The way her thumb is rubbing my arm feels a little like something else though, and her words start being background noise. “He's just gonna whine about me leaving, and if I tell him to go with me he'll be all like 'No May, some of us have responsibilities' or whatever. Oh. My. God. It'll just be sooo annoying. I don't know why he can't just man up about it.”
I think that maybe he'd be able to man up better if she didn't have such a death grip on his balls. She's sounding pretty whiny herself right now, and frankly I just want her to shut up.
She licks her lips again, and I just stop caring, cutting her off mid-breath before she can manage any words by shoving my lips over hers. I've got my tongue in far enough to know she's got no tonsils by the time she finally lets go of my arm, running her hands up my legs instead, so I grab her by that messy hair of hers and drag her onto my lap.
She's not completely quiet, but moaning is definitely an improvement over her talking, and then I remember all that fight she's got in her and I grin at how she's putting it to good use on my tongue.
It doesn't take me more than a minute to have a hand in her shirt and for her to be rubbing on me through her tights, and damn this is the best I've felt all week.
That is, until Brendan shows up.
I don't even notice him at first, but I don't think he noticed us either until he was already roaring an inch above our heads. May goes so stiff with shock I have to grab her waist to keep her from falling off my lap.
They start arguing out of nowhere, seemingly oblivious to my role as May's chair, until she starts laughing so hard she's grinding on me on accident and I moan about it. Then I realize Brendan's looking at me, pointing at me even, and I realize he's probably wondering why I'm snogging his mistress.
I grinned, one hand finding its way back to May's ass. “Look man... I just needed a way to shut your woman up and I thought a kiss would do.”
She's struggling to keep herself on the couch in the next instant, Brendan's hand pushing her off my lap with ease, and in the next instant I'm on my feet but not of my own free will.
I realize that I've lost track of how many people I've kissed tonight as I taste yet another tongue forcing itself against mine, and I can't find it in me to react. Punching Brendan crosses my mind, but so does kissing him back.
I probably am drunk, but not as drunk as him. Maybe.
Brendan's grip on my collar is definitely not that of a pussy though, and I'm kind of regretting how much shit I've been giving him all day. Which I can only imagine is the whole point, unless he's suddenly sick of women.
Ironically, the first thing May says as soon as my ass lands on the couch again is, “My god Brendan, you really are a bitch!”
No, no he's not, I feel like telling her. She kisses like a bitch. Brendan kisses like Red does after a good battle. Brendan's not a bitch. Though he is talking like one, I'll give May that much. Not enough of one to warrant the way she just hit the floor laughing.
Brendan clearly agrees from the way his fist comes at my face. I sink into the couch with reflexes far beyond my sobriety level as his arm flies by and slams into one of Lance's damned dragonair statues. Goddamn the boy has huge hands, and I never noticed it before. His dad's pretty huge though, so I shouldn't be too surprised. I still am, though, shaking somewhat as I stare at the now deformed bronze statue to my left. “Holy shit...”
He doesn't even flinch. My own hand and ears hurt just from that impact but Brendan doesn't even seem to notice. He looks at me like he's just waiting for me to talk again, and for the first time all night I'm speechless, and motionless aside from one hand instinctively sliding to protect my nuts. My boner doesn't have a clue how to respond either; that kiss was fucking amazing and even more terrifying, and I get off on adrenaline anyway. Mt Silver does that to you. So my hand is protecting it and my nuts because if Brendan's anything like me he'll be punting me there any second now.
May stutters to life from the floor, and I realize the noise I've been hearing behind the ringing of my ears is called silence, in the absence of her hysterical laughter. She stutters his name in a way that just confuses my crotch more and I have to bite back a groan as I try really hard not to look at her.
“Shhhaddup sssssslut!” he hisses at her, and I burrow further into the cushions, not sure if I should dare try to leave or not. She gets about halfway to her feet before she's on her knees again, and I chance scooting a little closer to the edge of the couch, certain that one way or another I won't want to be here within the next two minutes. I feel sober enough suddenly to know how drunk I've been up till now, and I quietly grab my drink, freezing in place again when Brendan glares at me for a moment. I press the drink to my forehead to avoid his gaze, and in hopes the cold will help the sudden headache bearing down on me.
As I watch he drags her to her feet and chucks her over his shoulder with less effort than it took him to pick me up a moment ago. Brendan is crazy, I decide, like one of those drunken boxers or something. I make a mental note to avoid pissing him off, and chance looking up at him again.
He stops in his tracks, like he can feel my eyes on him, and snarls a death threat. Any trace of that boner is definitely gone, and I think my nuts are trying to hide too, after seeing the blood in that man's eyes. Then he carries her off over one shoulder, spanking her ass along the way, and given how he's taking the shortest path toward the ballroom's exit, there's no question of his intentions.
May is a lucky bitch.
I finally exhale once the door slams behind them, sliding so low on the couch that my ass is scarcely on it. I should stand up, once I start breathing right again.
Now that I don't have a boner anymore, I realize I haven't taken a leak all night and that I really need to. I drop what's left of my drink on the table and stagger to my feet in search of a bathroom, preferably one I don't have to pass anyone else to get to. The adrenaline's still in my system a bit, and it's giving me the sincere sensation I've been a dick all night and I really don't want to see anyone until I'm sure how much of one.
Damn't, I wanted tonight to be good, to make up for how much tomorrow's gonna suck. Not be an appetizer.
Sure enough, when I get out of the bathroom, Red's waiting there for me. I didn't see him on the way there, but that doesn't mean a whole lot with Red. He could find me still if I moved to the Millennium Comet, and he'd beat me to it some how.
I should ask him one of these days why, if he knows what I'm gonna do before I do it, he still lets me do it.
There's a palm across my face as I stare at him and I wince. It wasn't his, Red doesn't slap. He very seldom does anything violent, really. I look down and Leaf is there, holding her fist like she's thinking about punching me too.
Then she's crying, and I really feel like an ass. Except she never cries, so it's this stiff-faced, glaring cry where the tears just stream down her face, and she still looks beautiful even like that, but if I kiss her now she'll just get madder. I feel like asking if they saw me with May is stupid but I can't imagine this is just because I gave Ethan what he had coming.
Red takes a step forward and he has that look on his face. I'm not going to be walking right for the rest of the year. I try to apologize, but I never apologize for anything, and there's no point in it at this stage anyway.
So I just hug them both, because what else can I do? As far as they're concerned, I fucked up.
No, they're right. I fucked up.
I find a space between Leaf's crying face and Red's stern one, and say the last three words that ever come out of my mouth in public, but I mean them more now than ever before. The way their arms tighten around me tells me they know I mean it.
“I'm sorry, guys.”
Leaf asks if we can go home, and Red just nods, and they both feel so small in my arms but it's over now and I've got to figure out how to make it up to Yellow, too.